Good Lord have Mercy!  I’m one worn out MoFo.  This has been a long ass week and it’s only going to continue again starting Monday.  I’ll be gone next week through Thursday so I’m going to enjoy this weekend and spend some time unwinding.

In case you want to update your Chuck itinerary, here’s my agenda for next week:  Monday and Tuesday I’ll be in Ft. Walton Bch, Florida.  Wednesday morning I’ve got a meeting in Mobile, then another in Pensacola, then back to Mobile where I’ll be spending the night.  Thursday I have a morning meeting there, then I get to head home arriving by dinner time.

So, who wants to entertain me while I’m spending all that windshield time in the car next Monday and Thursday?  I’m sure there are at least a couple of y’all who’d love to listen to me spout my boringness via the phone.  If so shoot me an email and give me your number and a good time when you can parley.  Sounds fun, doesn’t it?  Yeah….right.

Y’all have a GREAT weekend!

So, have y’all been watching Big Brother 9? I have, but I’m not sure what it is about it that’s grabbed my attention so. Perhaps it could be that this is the horniest group of house guests they’ve had in like forever. So far in less than a week of them being in the house there’s been sexual intercourse twice, blow jobs, hand jobs, stripping, two girl showers, full blown nudity, erotic massages, multiple naked people in the hot tub and taint slappin’. Of course you have to subscribe to the live feeds or frequent the various Big Brother websites if you want to see it. Unfortunately they don’t show the good stuff on the CBS broadcasts. You can click here to check out some of the pic and vids if you’d like. It’s updated regularly, so keep checking back! Here are even more videos.

I’m leaving today to go out of town for a couple days. Going to be in Huntsville, Alabama. I’m thinking about checking this place out while I’m there. What do y’all think? Why don’t you take the time and help me pick out an attendant for my “spa treatment”.

Before I begin with todays drivel I want to remind y’all about me and Slick’s wonderfully informative Q&A site, Givin’ It To Ya Straight.  We don’t do this because we want to people, we do this as a service to you all.  Especially you ladies who are so misguided as to the inner workings of us men.  To date we’ve got like 22 of your questions answered and we’re needing more.  Don’t be afraid.  Remember, there are no stupid questions…just (in me and Slick’s case) stupid answers!

My God what a week.  I haven’t looked forward to a weekend so much in a long time.  I have literally worked my ass off this week.  Seriously, I have no ass.  It’s a good thing my colonoscopy was last Friday and not this one. I plan on doing a lot of nothing this weekend.  Eating, drinking, watching movies and listening to it rain.

Valentine’s Day at my house was pretty good.  The evening culminated with the usual V-Day romp in the sheets.  You remember my mention of my bright yellow man juice from the last post?  Well it was quite the hit!  Once we were done we had to turn on the lights so we could check it out.  I tell you what, I thought looking down after sex and finding blood everywhere was pretty freaky.  Period blood ain’t got nothing on florescent, antibiotic inspired, spermage.  I was so wanting to take a picture of the golden cream pie to share here with y’all but alas, she wouldn’t let me.  So sorry to disappoint.

Is it just me or does Rachel Ray look better these days?  It looks like she’s put on a little weight.  She seems a little thicker in the hips and I like it!  All she needs is a C or low D cup and she’d be perfect!  I’m thinking she’s moving above Paula Deen on my hottest “cooking food on tv” chick list.

Y’all have a great weekend!!!

Boy oh boy! It’s good to be pain free for a change. Things are much better for Chuck and his esophagus and colon, thank you very much. I realize I’ve filled a lot of blog space lately with my bitching and moaning. I’m sorry about that. There’s nothing worse than someone who is always boo hooing about feeling crappy. Lord, I’ve been starting to sound like my ex wife! Can’t have that, now can we?

This week has been a bitch so far. I’ve been working non stop yesterday and Monday. It ain’t looking much better for the rest of the week. Then next week I begin my “food show season” with the first show being in beautiful Huntsville, Alabama. Week after next I’ll be down in Ft. Walton Beach, Florida for another one. If you’ve been reading my blog for a year or so then you know how much I just love working food shows. Yes, that’s sarcasm in case you weren’t sure.

Since I don’t have a lot of time to put some deep philosophical thoughts down in todays post, I thought I’d do another bullet point list. It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. So, without further adieu here are a few things that have been going on or been on my mind lately:

• One of the pills I’m taking for the GERD and/or IBS is making my pee totally florescent yellow. I’m talking way bright yellow y’all. Well I discovered last night that it’s also having the same effect on my man chowder. Wow, what a shock that it was to find my baby batter was practically glowing in the dark. It was quite unsettling.
• I’m a Big Brother junky so you can imagine my excitement to watch the first ever winter season premier last night. Interesting twist with the whole pairing people up thing. I think I’m going to enjoy it!
• I’ve gotten hooked on the reality show Jon and Kate Plus 8. Do you know this show? This couple have two sets of multiples. Twins and sextuplets. It’s crazy!
• Sometimes I really wish Susan and I would have a baby, but it scares me to think what kind of kid my yellow spooge would produce. Probably some kind of Simpson’s looking character no doubt.
• How about the mighty BasketVols of Tennessee? The Lady Vols are ranked #1 and the men are currently #4. Little known fact about me, once football season is done I get into college hoops. By the way, there is only 198 days till college football season!!
• The Writer’s Strike is now over. Bout time! Now go get your writer asses in gear and put out some of my favorite shows.
• I’m having a tough time getting into American Idol this year. I’m thinking it’s just about run it’s course with my interest. Tis sad, really.
• I’m looking forward to the extra $1800 the government is going to be giving me this year thanks to the federal tax rebate. Wasn’t that a nice surprise? Now it seems the democrat lawmakers in my state are trying to figure a way to collect a state tax on the rebate. Just wonderful…
• I know I haven’t been much of a responder to comments lately. I appreciate all your comments. Please don’t take offense if I don’t respond back. I do read them and cherish them in my heart! I’d rather spend the limited time I have in the blogosphere reading and commenting on the posts y’all are writing.
• I’ve neglected my manscaping duties for a couple months now. Yep, it’s a sad situation. My man bush has totally gotten out of hand.
• Beehive hairdos have really been turning me on lately. I’m not sure if it’s Marge Simpson or Amy Winehouse who’s doing it for me more.

Okay, that’s enough bullet point BS for one post. Guess I better get my ass back in the work mode. I’m busy, busy!! Y’all have a Happy Valentine’s Day tomorrow. I hope you get you some loving!

Wow! Thank y’all for all the great comments, emails, texts and phone calls. It sho did make me feel loved….or at least greatly liked!

So, here’s the results: They found that I have Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD) and Irritable Bowel Syndrome. They found a few ulcers in the lining of my esophagus and they took three biopsies. I should have the results of those in 7 to 10 days. They found no polyps or tumors in the intestines, so that’s good. They’ve got me on Pamine Forte, Nexium and Alinia and I get to go back in 8 weeks and have another “down the throat” exam. Yay…

I know many of you have been through the whole colonoscopy thing so you know what a pain in the ass the whole “cleaning you out” routine is. I had one hell of a rough evening last night. Plus it was a whole 45 hours without eating any solid food. Boy howdy I sure did wolf me some grub down this evening and guess what? Ten minutes ago I took a dump….a regular dump. No squirts and no pain. Ah, it was great. Praise the Lord and pass the toilet paper!

Again, thank you all for showing such concern! Have a great weekend!

I have a confession to make…

Friday morning I’ll be taking it down my throat and up my ass.

So now that I have your attention I’ll remind you of all the terrible stomach pain I’ve had recently. It’s been made doubly fun over the past two weeks with explosive diarrhea. I’m not talking about a few random liquidy shit episodes each day, I’m talking about 10 to 15 times….sitting on the toilet doubled over in pain, willing to give up an arm or at least a nut if only the cramping would subside. It doesn’t matter what I eat. I’ve had these episodes after having dry toast as well as after a bowl of chicken corn chowder.

Well yesterday I finally had my appointment at the gastrointestinal doc. After listening to my tale and pushing on my gut he informed me that he wants to do an upper GI endoscopy and a colonoscopy and he wants to do them both over 4 to 5 hours on Friday. So there you go….I’ll have a scope/camera thing down my throat and one up my ass. Hopefully it won’t be the same one, and if it is I hope they use it on my throat first! Regardless I intend to be happily knocked out the whole time.

Since I’ll be taking off on Friday I’ll be extra busy today and tomorrow with work. It’s pretty realistic that this post will probably be it for me this week. I hope y’all have a happy hump day and I’d love to think that y’all will be thinking of me around 11:00 central time Friday morning as I get my ass probed.

What a great Super Bowl! I was extremely pleased with the outcome. I hate the Patriots, especially their coach, and I wanted to see an upset so badly. Luckily I wasn’t disappointed. 19-0? Nope sorry, ain’t happening! It’s not that I’m a Giants fan as much as I’m a fan of the Manning family. It’s great to see Peyton and Eli win back to back championships. Maybe next year they’ll get to play each other in the big game. Wouldn’t that be interesting?

Congratulations New York Giants on being world champions!

Last week was a bitch. More on that and other exciting stuff (I had beers with a fellow blogger Saturday night!) soon. Y’all don’t forget to check out Slick and my public service site, Givin’ It To Ya Straight. You’ve got questions? We’ve got answers. Seriously, reading our new site could change your life…

Have a good Monday!