You know, I’ve really gotten into sleeping lately. I’ve always slept fairly well, and understood the importance of a good nights sleep. But it’s only in the past few months that I’ve really started looking forward to it. Maybe it’s the extremely vivid dreams I’ve been having. I contribute them to the Chantix prescription I’ve taken for months now. The drug claims that there could be changes in dreaming and yeah, I think they’re right. At first it was weird off the wall shit, like animals talking or being chased by alligators. Now it’s real life, normal stuff….only it’s like it’s really happening. Take last night for example. I was dreaming I was shopping at Target. Normal enough, right? I pushed my buggy (or cart for those of y’all outside the South), through each department where I’d end up having a conversation with different women. At first we’d discuss prices or the quality of certain items then it would progress to topics of a more intimate nature. Each of these departmental flirt sessions would end with the particular lady accidentally brushing the back of her hand against my crotch. See, what did I tell ya…major reality, huh?

The above is not actually the true purpose of this post. I’m more interested in talking today about sleeping habits. I’ve found myself thinking about this each night as I fall asleep, so I thought I might as well go ahead and blog about it. Y’all want to hear about how your old buddy Chuck falls asleep, right?

Here’s how I do it. And remember, this is my system. I do it like this every night. Once I’ve resigned to go to sleep I’ll first turn down the television or shut down the lap top, or down the vodka….which ever is my last downing activity of the night. I’ll then start out on my back for about five to ten minutes. I then turn onto my left side for the same amount of time, give or take, with legs bent making sure my junk is out from between them. After this I flip over onto my stomach with one or both of my arms under my pillow. This is where I’ll usually nod off. If not I’ll then turn onto my right side for the five or ten, then onto my back and I’ll start the process all over again. I’ve done it like this for years. Am I weird? Should I be turning clockwise? What does this say about me?

How about you? How do you drift off?