Last week I was in Memphis, Tennessee for four days at a regional meeting. The meeting was entertaining, but not as much as Thursday night when we went to the Memphis In May Festival. As the website says, it really is the “Super Bowl of Swine.” I’ve seen it before but only on The Food Network shows about the event. Never in person. There was some awesome barbecue all over that place. If you like it dry rubbed, wet, spicy, tangy, etc….they had it. There was St. Louis style, Memphis style, Alabama style….white sauce, vinegar based sauce, tomato based sauce….they had it all. There were barbecue teams from all around the country. And even Texas. Damn, I bet there wasn’t a Muslim or Jew within twenty miles of that pork filled place!

Before I get into more stuff about Memphis and the festival…and the crappy cell phone pictures I took…let me put something out there for your consideration. Why do some people in this country (Yankees and other folks not in the South, but possibly in Central and South Florida) call the act of cooking meat outside on a grill barbecue? Barbecue is a certain style of meat. You can have pork, chicken or beef barbecue. Hell, I once even had Mongolian barbecue. There is sauce involved and sometimes it’s served on a bun or with a bone through it. You don’t “barbecue” hamburgers, hotdogs, steaks, chicken, etc. There should not be a verb version of that word. When you have friends and family over and you fire up the charcoal or propane grill, you’re cooking out. Possibly you’re even grilling out, but you are never barbecuing! All true Southerners would agree.

Okay, now that we have that cleared up, how about some pictures from Memphis.

Here we have the Mighty Mississippi and the bridge and pyramid thing in downtown Memphis.

In this snapshot you can see a lovely sunset, the river and Arkansas at the top and Tennessee at the bottom. Can it get more exciting than that?

This is one of the tents we were invited to party in. You have to have an invitation to go into the tents (there were like 70 of them) and there was a doorkeeper at each tent who would check for the appropriate arm band. Inside each tent that particular “barbecue team” would be cooking up their famous meat and serving it, and all the beer you could want, for free….if you had an invitation/arm band. How about that hot chick on the right in the green top? Her name was Marla, by the way, and she likes men who know how to deliver their sauce….or at least that’s what she told me….I got to know her while waiting in line at the port-o-potty.

In this final picture you can see the drive-by version of Sun Records, where Elvis and many others got their starts. If you’d like to see a pic of the place without the blur you can click here. Can’t you just imagine his pink Cadillac parked out front?

Alright Ladies and Gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed this educational and entertaining trip to the barbecue festival and Memphis. I also hope you’d never call cooking out side on a grill barbecuing. If you do, just remember those of us in the Deep South might just laugh at you. But never to your face….only behind your back. We’re nice like that…

The lives of my children aren’t as easy as some kids out there. Yes, they have a very loving father who thinks they can (usually) do no wrong. And they have a step-mother who loves them, but can dish it out in the tough love format at times. My kids are responsible for daily and weekly chores. The thirteen year old empties the dishwasher everyday, folds laundry everyday and cleans her room and bathroom perfectly once a week. My six year old makes his bed every morning, cleans his room, dusts his bedroom furniture and television and sometimes helps out with the cleaning downstairs when I ask. They both help out with the dog and cat, letting Trooper out when he needs to do his business, and going out to pour food into the cat’s dish out on the deck when she’s hungry. They help out a lot and I think it’s important to their development into healthy and functioning adults. They may not like it when they have to clean, but I’m sure one day they’ll thank me for teaching them something they need to know.

I mention this, with emphasis on the first sentence I wrote up there, because I want to tell you about the weekend they spent with their mother. I picked them up yesterday around 4 and brought them home, but before that happened let me give you a little back ground.

I took the kids over to their mom’s apartment Saturday ’round three o’clock. My ex, FA, was due to be home soon after. She’d been in nursing school clinical’s all day. She got home as expected and I assumed she’d be taking the kids to do something fun during her 25 hours she’d be spending with them. Maybe to see a movie or perhaps to the pool. Well my daughter T called me last night around 9 pm just to check on how things were going. I asked her what all had been going on there and she informed me they’d gone to Target and to dinner and now her brother was watching television, she was on the computer, and her mother had gone to bed. I thought it was a little early for dear old mom to be hitting the sack when she hadn’t seen her kids in two weeks, but I didn’t let it bother me.

Fast forward to yesterday around two in the afternoon. I called my daughter’s cell to see what they were up to. She informed me that she was on the computer, her brother L was watching television, and their mother was in bed. I asked, “Oh, did she recently lay down for a nap?”

“No Dad, she’s still asleep from when she went to bed last night at nine o’clock.”

Yes folks…she hasn’t been with her kids (other than a couple hours on Mother’s Day) for over two weeks and she spent the whole time sleeping. I promptly told T I was on my way to pick up she and her brother and bring them home.

When I got there the ex was up and awake. She paid me the $400 she owed me in child support and I just shook my head thinking, how could anyone who had given birth to her own children care as little as she does about their happiness? The day will come, and it’s pretty much here for my 13 year old, when they will realize exactly what it is their mother is. Then they’ll not want to spend any time with her. It’s easy to see….I just can’t understand why it is she can’t see it.

So…Anyway….I thought I’d show y’all a couple pictures of my precious babies. This is my boy L on the soccer field. It was taken last Saturday during their last game. The Blue Devils finished the season 9-1-1. A pretty good record for a league where they don’t keep score. I like this picture, even though it’s terribly blurry, because you can see the total determination on his face. Every muscle in his legs are flexed, he’s ready to get in there and score that winning goal! It looks like both his feet aren’t even touching the ground. I’ve just noticed that his left hand looks deformed, but it isn’t!

Then here we have his sister. My beautiful daughter who is growing up before my eyes. She’ll be finished with the eighth grade in four days and will be moving on to the high school as a freshman. I can’t believe it! Susan and I have been pretty much raising this young woman by ourselves for four years. I’ve been there for her first kiss, and made her hold up a sign saying “My first kiss was (input date here).” Then took a picture. When she yelled from the upstairs bathroom that she’d gotten her period I was the one who sent my new wife up to give her the first pad, then later had her pose with a sign saying “I got my period on (insert date here).” I’m sure she hated posing for both of those pictures, but I’m sure she’ll appreciate it someday. I love these kids more than my life. I just can’t imagine giving birth, not seeing them but two or three times a month, then spending 17 hours out of 24 sleeping and missing out on all they have to say and do. I just thank God that He saw fit to allow me to have full custody.

Here’s a picture I took of my daughter T a little over a week ago. She was all excited about seeing her brother kick some soccer butt, and spending time with my sister, her aunt. Oh, and she was liking the swing.

Well folks, it’s Monday and I’m home again after being out of town pretty much for the past two weeks. Susan is out of town this week, in Atlanta, for her job. I reckon I’m somewhat of a bachelor till Thursday evening. Anyone want to come party with Chuckie?

Ladies, I want you to know that I’m coming out of my temporary hiatus to let you know that you’re very special. Today is your day. Even if you’ve never actually given birth to your own offspring I bet there is a child or several children somewhere who look to you as a very influential figure in their lives. In my opinion, based on the way I’ve been raised, there is no one as revered as the woman who gave you life. My Mom has been so much to me during my thirty-eight years. She’s my good friend, my supporter, my fan and she loves me terribly. She’s also here visiting me as I write this, which makes it even more special.

I hate that my children haven’t had the “mother experience” in their lives as I have, nor do they have a mother to revere. Their mom cares more about her own life than that of her children. It’s sad but unfortunately it’s very true. For four years now I’ve played the part of mom and dad to my kids. Luckily I’ve had Susan who, even through she’s had no experience, has done her best to be a top notch step mom. Here at my house we sometimes joke and call Susan the “bonus mom“, but actually it isn’t too much of a joke. She has been a bonus, and my kid’s lives are richer because of her. They may not totally see it now, at age 13 and 6, but they definitely will someday.

Okay, the purpose of this post has totally gotten away from me…I want to wish all you moms out there a very Happy Mother’s Day! You all deserve a day to relax and enjoy time spent however you’d like! I hope you get the chance to do so.