The One Where Chuck (finally) Has Sex…
Posted by Chuck on March 30th, 2007
Huzzah! My thirteen day no sex streak ended last night around 9pm. I’m so glad because really, I was ready to explode! Seriously, while I know it’s not scientifically or medically possible, I swear I busted like a pint of nut gravy. That shit got everywhere. When I pulled out and went to get a towel there must have been some hanging off my dick because a big dollop dropped onto my right calf. I didn’t notice it till a little later when I was standing in the living room talking to my daughter. Slightly drying baby batter and leg hair don’t mix. Luckily my kid took no notice of my condition and I was able to grab a dirty pair of my boxers out of the hamper and wipe the spunk off my leg.
To commemorate the wonderful event I took a picture (click here) of us in the throngs of passionate love making. Feel free to check it out, right click and save it and use it for your desktop background. I’m looking more and more hot everyday, don’t you think?
Well, let me thank you in advance for your happiness at my sexual fulfillment. Maybe tonight I’ll let Susan get hers. Today I’m taking off work, again, and Susan and I are going to see Blades of Glory at the movies. I love me some Will Ferrell. Y’all have a great Friday and super weekend!
P.S. Can you tell today I’m just a little more upbeat than my last post? There is actually a spring to my step. Too bad you can’t see. Posts about my volume of ejaculate beats posts with pictures of Civil War forts any day, right?
March 30th, 2007 at 7:59 am
Hufuckingzzah!!!!!! Very cool. Ok, I could have done without the nut gravy image, but I’ll let it slide since it’s been 13 days.
Enjoy the movie, be sure to let me know how it is!
March 30th, 2007 at 8:08 am
I hate you. I’m on day 15.
What was your secret?
March 30th, 2007 at 8:41 am
Nut Gravy.
Baby Batter.
Classic!
March 30th, 2007 at 9:25 am
geejuss–baby batter????????
Why the sex lull?
March 30th, 2007 at 9:30 am
Congrats?
My husband once spewed some on his girlfriends thigh while they were camping. Got her covered in ants in no time. Just an fyi for the next time you find yourself in the woods.
March 30th, 2007 at 10:13 am
Julie - Thanks for letting it slide, cause it sure was sliding down my leg!
Taja - So sorry dear, but I can definitely relate. My secret? Whining and crying…
JQP - Yep, I know how to come up with them!
Courtney - Well, it really wasn’t for any major reason. I guess we were both to blame. Just not enough time in the day sometime…
Laurie - I guess it’s a good thing we don’t camp. Did the ants get into her cooch? Does your husband still have a girlfriend?
March 30th, 2007 at 10:45 am
Why did I look? WHY?!?!?!?
Laurie!……..Husband? Girlfriend? What the….?
March 30th, 2007 at 10:58 am
no seriously, do you want to go fishing some weekend.
somewhere local, maybe at the hunting club ponds.
March 30th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
Totally off topic, but I know you’re anticipating The Tudors (as am I) and found an informative review for ya.
Link: http://www.pajiba.com/im-henry-the-bored-i-am-i-am.htm
Despite what the writer said, I’ll watch for the “smoldering looks” and I know you will for the medieval tits.
March 30th, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Well, I for one, am glad for ya dude.
But…you’ve put on a little weight haven’t you?? It looks as if you were housing your nut gravy in your abdomen
March 30th, 2007 at 7:02 pm
Oh.
No.
You.
Did-int!
Seriously throwing up a lil in my mouth. And I just ate shellfish, so it’s like that girl on the 40-Year-Old Virgin.
And baby batter.
Damn, Chuck. Damn.
I’m glad you “got some”…I guess. It’s just hard to even type with my nose all wrinkled up like this. Ewwwwwwwww. Just Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
March 30th, 2007 at 10:02 pm
Cheri - You looked because you know you couldn’t resist. Hello? Who wouldn’t….it’s a chance to see me naked…
Snag - Let’s set a date.
Courtney - Thanks for the link. Interesting. That dude may not totally like it, but I’ll be looking forward to seeing it. I’ve already seen the first two episodes on-line. I didn’t think it was all that bad. You know you want to see the medieval tits too!
Slick - Very damn funny my brother! Actually it’s just beer. I’m storing beer in my abdomen.
Kelli - What exactly are you all ewww about? The picture or the fact that I had sexual intercourse with my wife?
March 30th, 2007 at 10:55 pm
Oh. I guess I should have SPECIFIED, but I figured you could tell.
1)The pint of nut gravy
2)The lovely picture
3)The “baby batter”
There.
How as the movie? I’m dying to see it.
April 1st, 2007 at 9:28 pm
you wait 13 days, then you couldn’t even wait till the kids went to bed?
April 1st, 2007 at 9:57 pm
Kelli - Ah, thanks for clarifying!! LoL The movie was good, not great…but definitely funny in places. I’d give it 2.75 out of 5 stars.
Tim - Unfortunately when your 13 year old stays up later than you on average, (her bedtime is 9:45. I’m an old man and usually go to bed by 9 on week nights), you gotta get it when you can. That’s what door locks and pillows are for. The pillows are for biting, fyi.
April 1st, 2007 at 11:07 pm
Glad your 13 day streak is over. Hope you had a great weekend. Sending you Big Big Hug’s!!!!!!!
April 2nd, 2007 at 4:11 am
Oh dear Chuck,
You are making me feel a bit guilty. Poor Ed can probably identify with your “13 day streak” as it is a bit like that here at the moment…… for various reasons!
I hope he is not counting down the days…. perhaps he hasn’t noticed? Doubt it, hey?
Glad thanks got resolved so splendidly anyway….
April 4th, 2007 at 12:30 am
Feel dirty. Don’t even want to touch the keyboard right now. Ew.
April 4th, 2007 at 8:49 pm
It’s photos like that that give me hope. If they can find someone that will have sex with them, then there is truly hope for the rest of us out there!
Who the hell would hold the camera for that, though? Seriously…
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