As you know this recent trip out of town has been the second business trip, with my recently unemployed wife tagging along, over the past two weeks. We’ve actually been having a good time. I’ve worked hard, but we’ve managed to see some nice places, stay in some luxurious hotels and eat some damn good food. We’ve also had a lot of sex, and that will be the subject of this post. Only I won’t be sharing the juicy details of our recent coital experiences. Instead I’ll be sharing with you the off the wall sexually related things we’ve said to each other. These are actual conversations and/or statements made over the past week. Enjoy…

Susan: Damn, your dick is looking so long! Me: (looking down): This is the way it always looks. Susan: Well sometimes it’s shrively. Me: Well that might be true, but it only shrivels up when I see you naked! (We both laugh, then I get in the shower)

Me: Do you plan on washing your cooch today? Susan: Nah, I’m hoping to attract flies. (We both laugh, then she gets in the shower)

Susan: Why do your balls smell like fried chicken? Me: Not sure, why don’t you see if they taste like it…

Susan: Are you ever going to cum? Me: (panting) Yeah, talk dirty to me. Susan: Mmmm, oh yeah baby…I’m rollin’ around in the mud. My hair’s greasy and I need to clean out from under my fingernails…that dirty enough for you? (We both laugh and I lose my erection)

Susan: I hope Trooper (our dog) is doing okay at The Pet Palace (place where we board him). Me: I’m hoping he’s not being gang raped by the other dogs.

Susan: You’re not planning on cumming in me are you? Me: Oh yeah, baby! (I continue to pound it out, in the missionary position) Susan: Don’t do it, (getting worried) seriously, pull out and do it on my tits…I’ll jack it for you. Me: (Faking an orgasm) I can’t stop…oh yeah baby! It feeeeels so gooood….(She doesn’t fall for it) Susan: Alright, go ahead and knock me up….and I’ll find me a coat hanger! (we both laugh, then I pull it out and cum)

Me: What the frig are these? (I’d been at a food show all day while she went to the mall and shopped, I was holding up what looked to be one of two brassieres) Susan: I bought two new bras, do you like them? Me: Seriously Susan, they look like something my granny would wear! Susan: No, they’re a new kind of bra that makes big boobs look smaller, and they come with these pads that cover your nipples so you’re never showing your “headlights”. Chuck: Uh, hello? Why would you want those beauties to look smaller? Susan: (Snatching the bra from my hands) You try carrying probably an extra thirty pounds around on your chest and then you can make fun. I’ve decided I’m going to use part of your bonus money to get another reduction. Me: (panicking) Noooooooo!!!!

And finally (although there were many, many others)…

Susan: Tonight while I’m sucking your dick would you be willing to lay down with your head at the bottom of the bed? Me: Why? Susan: Then I can be sucking you and also be watching The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Marathon on Nick at Night at the same time. Me: (shifting around on the bed) As long as you’ll still get in there and lick my ass. (We both laugh, I eventually bust a big nut and we end up watching seven episodes in a row. What a hilarious show….I’d been missing it since I used to watch it weekly in the early to mid Nineties)
Well here you go with a little smathering of what all we’ve been talking about recently. Aren’t we like the most romantic couple ever?! We’ve really had some fun trips out of town and I could get used to this going out of town for work and bringing my old lady with me. I really like it, but I’m sure she’ll have a new job soon. She’s been interviewing left and right. I guess I better learn to appreciate it while I can. Oh, by the way…the Ruth’s Chris was to die for the other night. That was a big ass fillet mignon, bigger than I’d ever seen. I’m thinking it was worth the $35 I paid for it. Adding the other two sides brought the tab up to $69, but it was hella damn good. I’m just glad Susan was willing to split the meal with me. We ordered it Tuesday night and ate it while we watched American Idol, as room service. Nothing like feasting on some big meat, in the comfort of your hotel suite….we’ll that’s what Susan thought…several times!! lol

We’re back home now. Happy Thursday everyone!