Okay, so I thought I’d give you all an idea of what’s been going on in my life. Without going into too many details, my ex wife’s psychotic behavior has once again reared it’s ugly head, and we’ve been having to deal with the fall out. She made a fourth attempt on her life so it’s become necessary to take legal steps to ensure the safety of my children. She will pretty much be losing all her parental rights. An emergency plea to the courts will be filed tomorrow, terminating visitation, along with an amendment to the original divorce decree making me sole custodian. This has been incredibly hard for me. I’ve spent long hours over the past week wrestling with a decision about what to do. Taking kids away from a parent isn’t an easy choice to make, but I think it will be best for them and her, in the long run. She’s got to get herself well before she can be the kind of influence I want my children to be around.

Again, thank you all so much for your comments and emails. It is nice to know that people I’ve never met really do care about my well-being. I’m not sure when I’ll be posting again…I’ve really got to get my head on straight about a number of life related issues. Until then, take care and thanks for reading.

Folks, I’m going to be away from here for a few days. Not sure when I’ll be able to get back to normal blogging. It would seem we’re having a bit of personal problems within the family and I’ve got a feeling my time will be occupied for a while. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers, if you can. I’ll be back as soon as possible.

Edit - Saturday, 8/26 - I want to thank all of you who have commented and e-mailed.  It’s been a tough week in more ways than one, and I appreciate your well wishes.  I’ll update soon.

Don’t you love it when, ever so often, you discover a book that totally dominates your attention until you finish it, then you find yourself wanting to go back and read it all over again? It happened to Susan and I, and even our son, over the weekend.

A couple weeks ago, when I thought I was going to be driving out to Texas, I went to the library and checked out a couple audio books. One was Marley and Me by John Grogan. As you know I ended up not going to see Julie, instead she came to see me, but I still had the audio books resting on the rear floorboard of my Taurus. This past Friday, as Susan the boy and I headed south to Florida, I suggested we listen to an audio book…specifically the one about a dog: Marley and Me. Susan wasn’t too interested at first, but within minutes she was all into it. Even my soon to be six year old, was listening contently from the back seat.

I grew up with dogs, but Susan did not. She always had cats. (And we still have her thirteen year old “Tabby” who lays around the back yard.) In the past year and a half that we’ve had our Cairn Terrier Trooper, she’s become one hundred percent a dog person. As I write this now, at 10pm on Sunday night, she’s laying next to me in bed with Trooper silently snoring, head laying across her forearm.

Anyway, we listened to four hours worth on the way down, and then four more hours on the way back home. Once we got home and had unpacked, started the laundry and shopped for and started supper, we put the remaining CD’s on the surround sound in the livingroom. We listened while I cooked and then while we all ate. Towards the end we both sat in on the couch, both of us with tissue in hand, and cried. Yep, I admit it….I tried to hide it at first but couldn’t for long. I’m not going to write anything here that could possibly give anything away, in case y’all haven’t read the book, but I will say this…GO NOW and buy or check out this wonderful story. I promise you won’t regret it! I’ve just ordered online, two copies; one for us and one for my dog loving parents.

In other news we had a hot and sweaty, yet fun, weekend trip to Destin Florida. Unfortunately I didn’t see anywhere near as many bikinis as I had hoped too, but we did eat a couple pounds of delicious crab legs and some killer amberjack fillets! Ah, you got to love good fresh seafood!

I’ve got a busy work week ahead of me, but I’ll check in when I can. Y’all have a good one!

Guess where your boy Chuck is going? Come on….take a wild stab. Nope, you’re wrong…I’m going HERE! Susan and I will be on the road heading southbound in about six hours. We’re taking a weekend trip filled with relaxation, marathon poon pounding and soaking up some sun. I’ll also be eating quite a bit of this….looking at some of these….while drinking plenty of these and hopefully seeing even more of this!

I sure hope your weekend will be just as exciting!!

Just so you know, my penis is my friend.

We’ve been together now for thirty-seven years. We’ve been through many ups and downs in that time. I’ve tried to take good care of my friend. I wash him daily (usually), keep him free of excessive hair and let him out to exercise several times a week. I’ve also allowed him to be a bit of a showcase. He’s been photographed, videoed and ogled my literally hundreds, possibly thousands if you count the Internet. There have been times where I’ve allowed him, to my shame, to venture into unknown territory. Places where he and I both have regretted later; specifically most of 1990/six months in 2001/two months of ‘03/etc. So far I’ve managed to keep him free of disease and mutilation. He’s a rather impressive little fella and compliments his low hanging pals so well. It’s my hope and wish that our relationship continues to grow and he is always firm and resolute in all his endeavors.

My penis is my friend, just so you know.

Yeah, can you tell I’m grasping for straws and pulling posts out of my ass?

It was a most wonderful weekend having Julie here visiting with us. We had a lot of fun; shopping, dinning out, watching television and doing stuff with my kids. She got here Wednesday just in time to join me in fighting the hell that is first day of school traffic at my son’s school. Unfortunately I didn’t amaze her this time with my culinary skills, instead we ate simple stuff like hotdogs and chips. I’m sure she was disappointed. Thursday we drove up to Snagley’s work place and took him out to lunch, (he wrote about it on his blog). The food sucked, but the company was nice. I’m thankful Snag was on his best behavior and equally pleased he kept the farting to a minimum. Trust me folks, that’s quite an accomplishment for him.

Susan left Friday afternoon to go visit with her Mother, so that night I had my daughter babysit and Julie and I went out on a date! She even paid! We went to Joe’s Crab Shack and I finally got me one of those “Got Crabs?”, bought by her, t-shirts I’ve always wanted. She got herself one too and we had intended to take a pic together wearing them, but somehow forgot. Oh well…

She left early Saturday morning, and I was left here alone with the kids. I hadn’t been all alone with my spawn in a while and we made the most of it; watching television, shopping for new school clothes, going out to dinner and cleaning house. Susan returned home yesterday to a clean house and a nice dinner and we stayed up late watching TiVo’d shit, including The Flavor of Love. You gots to love you some Flavor Flav. Yeah Boyee, he’s off da hook! Seriously though, do y’all watch that show? I have to admit that I liked it last season, and am hooked again this time around. There’s just something about all them hoochies. Especially last week when that one chick sharted and dropped a load on the stairs! It’s quite entertaining, to say the least.

Back to school went off around here pretty much without a hitch. My son is loving kindergarten, especially riding the bus. There are eleven kids living on our cul-de-sac who all go to his school, including one who is in his class. It’s quite the event in the mornings watching them all line up to get on the bus. I’m glad he’s liking it so much, I was afraid he’d not. My mom likes to tell the story about my first day of kindergarten. When I got home that day she asked if I had enjoyed myself. I replied, “Yeah it was okay, but I’m never going back.” That really worked out well for me…

Work break is over…Y’all have a good one!

For some reason I knew something would happen. It always does. There is always something that comes along and fucks up good plans. In this case it’s my exwife who decided yesterday she had to have her gall bladder removed and checked herself into the hospital, thus being unable to take care of the kids the rest of the week. Guess what that means? Yep, you guessed it…I ain’t going to visit The Queen of Pink.

But our story doesn’t end here….

As I sit here typing this Julie is traveling east on I-20 and has just crossed over into the great state of Alabama! She should be here in about two hours. Yeeeehaw!! Luckily our chance for another reunion wasn’t stumped, and seeing as how she’s kidless this week, her husband agreed that her coming to visit me was in order. I’m all kinds of excited. I may even take her to meet Bo Snagley tomorrow. Y’all know you’re jealous now!

Well, I had registration last night for my new kindergartner but unfortunately nothing as exciting as what occurred the other night (see last post) happened this time. School starts here tomorrow and I’m pretty happy. My daughter is looking forward to going back and seeing her friends and my son is all kinds of excited to start “big boy school”! I am glad that my paying for day care days are over and in the past. It’s a win-win all round!

Late tomorrow morning I’ll be striking out on a journey of fun combined with copious amounts of joy. I’m driving to Texas to visit with Julie and her husband for four days. It would seem she’s without her kids this week, and not wanting her to be lonely I figured I’d go keep her company. In other words there will be lots of drinking and possibly even more skinny dipping! We’ll keep ya posted. Maybe we’ll even do a drunken audio post…wouldn’t that be exciting?

Y’all have a nice rest of the week…I know I will!

Yesterday I had to take my 13 yr old daughter, T, to register her for 8th grade. What an experience that was, let me just tell you! First, let me give you a little background. Imagine 200 parents and children, all waiting in line, trying to do the same fucking thing. Get into the cafeteria. To then go to a million “stations”, so that each one of our precious spawn can go to school correctly. How in the hell did we ever get through our middle school educations without all this bureaucracy and shit?

Anyway, I digress. No sooner than we get situated in line, I notice the couple standing in front of us. Completely underdressed for even mowing the yard, much less going out in public with their teenage child. Who was, without a doubt, big time fucking embarassed to be seen with them. And after the scene I witnessed, I can totally feel her pain. The dad turned around and I couldn’t help but notice a huge bulge in his crotch. Not that I was looking, but DAMN it was impossible to miss! That dude was PACKING. And, it seemed as though the sight of the 13 & 14 yr old hoochies walking around in their skanky clothes was doing a number on his johnson, bringing it to pretty much full attention. I looked away as fast as I possibly could, but out of the corner of my eye I saw something hit the ground, falling out of the guy’s shorts. (side note: this guy wasn’t just wearing any old regular shorts, he had on a pair of cut off hole-y sweat pants, and the legs were HUGE) I glanced at the floor and realized that it was a pair of TUBE SOCKS. Rolled up like a freaking log! His wife turned to him and said, “What are those? Did you really have a pair of SOCKS in your shorts?” She then punched him in his arm and stormed off. It was a little uncomfortable, to say the least.

Seriously, I shit you not. The dude had a pair of tube socks stuffed in his shorts. And these weren’t just short socks. These puppies probably would pull up to his knees if he put them on. The roll was at least 10 inches long. What was he thinking? Did he really think that if he put those bad boys in his shorts, making his willie look 10 inches long that it was going to turn him into some sort of SuperMan? In his gray t-shirt with #48, Jimmie Johnson Nascar logo, and his navy sweatshorts, and black tacky nasty pool shoes. Did he really think that a 10″ super-schlong was going to improve his chances with the ladies? Oh hell no.

After stifling laughter, I herded my spawn into the cafeteria and went about my business. Wondering how in the fuck a grown man got this super-smart idea in his head? Stupid is as stupid does, I guess, that’s what my mama always says.

The twelve day dry spell has come to an end. I’m not sure why we went so long without “getting our groove on”, but we did. I guess we’re just both so busy and tired most nights we’d just rather watch television, then get in bed and sleep instead of knocking one out.

All day yesterday we planned our “Hump Day” festivities and around ten o’clock last night we put our game faces on and locked ourselves in the bedroom. I won’t bore you with all the dirty details, but just be aware that we both came away very happy campers. Okay, maybe a few details…..we started with a hot naked make out session, followed by a good fifteen minutes of mutual oral action. This was followed up with a good twenty or thirty minutes of some vigorous ball slapping the ass, sweat dripping, dirty talking, freaky missionary action. Good thing I’d taken a shower earlier in the evening. Seeing as it had been a while since I’d made a man juice deposit, I had quite the load of nut gravy built up. I swear it was at least a half a cup. Okay maybe not that much, but you get the picture, right?

I’ve ordered my new manscaping device. It should be here around the first of next week. I can’t wait to try it out. I’ll fill you in on the details once I’ve used it. Mayhap I’ll even make a triumphant return to HNT with a before and after picture collection! Who knows….we’ll see…

Tonight I’m making meatloaf wellington for dinner. I found a recipe online and think I’ll try it out. Seeing all that beef wellington they’re serving up on Hell’s Kitchen (I love that show) has kinda got me to hankering me some wellington! The recipe calls for ground beef, pork and veal. I’m not sure if Publix carries ground veal. I guess I’ll find out later today.

Y’all have a wonderful Thursday, ya hear? I’m thinking I will….When I woke up this morning it was like the weight of twelve days had been lifted off my shoulders. It’s going to be a great day!!

P.S. By shoulders I meant balls….just in case you were wondering.