I totally don’t have anything for today, but I need to put something up here to distance myself from my last post. You may remember on last Friday I thought I’d come out here and put out to you a personal and potentially damaging habit of mine, but alas it wasn’t well received. It was my intent to reveal, in the days and weeks to come, other personal admissions. Admissions that could also prove to be embarrassing to The Chuckster, but obviously I needn’t worry about confessing. Short of admitting I wear women’s underwear (which I don’t) I doubt I’ll cause any type of stir. So my other revelations will have to be put on the back burner.

Instead I thought I’d ask you to tell me about an embarrassing confession of your own. Let me know, in the comments, about the biggest fuck up you’ve experienced lately. Tell me all about a particular happening in your life that made you want to bury your head in the sand and wish you’d never been born. Maybe it was something you said, maybe it was something you did, maybe it was something you forgot to do, or perhaps it’s a favorite television show or musical group you’d hate to confess to. Heck, maybe it happened while sequestered in the loving embrace of your significant other(s). Whatever it may be y’all commence to dishing it out. I’m waiting…

I’ve been having the worse luck lately with toilets. I have three of them in my home and two of them have had to have their ballcock assemblies (isn’t that a fun name for a toilet part? I love saying it) and lift arms replaced. I’m not a very mechanical kind of guy so luckily fixing these problems hasn’t been an issue. Susan wants to get all new thrones for the bathrooms, but I just can’t see a reason for it. They are only about six years old and are, now, in good working order. Plus my ass has kinda gotten used to the seats. Especially the one in the master bath. Is it wrong to feel close to a toilet?

Speaking of toilets, I’m going to admit something to y’all here. I never thought I’d actually come clean about this, but here goes…

About 85% of the time, when I’m at home, I sit down to pee.

Let me be clear here…it’s when I’m at home. When I’m out I always use a urinal, when they’re available, or if I have to use a toilet I certainly stand up to piss. Hello? I ain’t sitting on no public toilet. Hell, I won’t even take a dump in one unless things get really bad. It’s just that over the years I’ve gotten used to peeing sitting down at home. If I get up in the middle of the night I don’t want to turn on the bathroom light cause it’ll wake me up too much. So I’ll sit there and do my business, with my eyes closed, then get back in the bed.

As you know, I work from home. I’m usually on the phone throughout the day with customers or other work related folks, so when the urge hits I’ll sit so they won’t have to hear what it is I’m doing. Also, in the evenings, when we’re in the livingroom watching television we usually keep the lights off. It’s just more funner to watch tv or movies in the dark. Funner is a word, right? So when we go to the downstairs bathroom, located adjacent to the livingroom, we usually leave the door open so we can see what’s on the screen. Therefore the bathroom light is turned off and thus sitting down just seems to happen. Plus, if I were not to sit down my back would be to the tv and therefore I would have to miss a few seconds of the action. That wouldn’t be fun, now would it? Can you see how, over the years, I’ve become conditioned to the “sit down urination” thing? The only time I usually stand up to pee at home is when I’m on the phone with Julie. I just want to be sure she can hear what it is I’m doing, just to gross her out. Ain’t I a great friend?! Seriously though, I think it turns her on. She has this pee fetish. I won’t go into the details here….

So, there you have it. I’ve made a huge admission here about how I make emissions. What do you think? Is it wrong? Is it acceptable? Don’t be hating…

How about the look on the face of the chick on the right. Reckon she’s having a little trouble? I’m thinking bladder infection.

In other news we’re heading out of town this afternoon to Knoxvegas, Tennessee. We’re going up there to visit my folks and bring my two younguns home from their week with the grandparents. Y’all have a wonderful weekend!!

I mentioned in my last post that I spent last weekend in Georgia, visiting my grandmother, who I’ve always called Granny. I had a really nice time with her. She’ll turn 86 in a couple weeks and has just now gotten to the point where it would be best for her to not live alone. Her health has declined considerably in the past couple months so it’s been decided she will move out of her house and live partially with my parents and partially with her oldest daughter, my mom’s sister. She just can’t take care of herself completely anymore. It’s sad really.

This woman, and my grandfather (who died in ‘92) played such a major role in my life. As a child I’d be shipped off for several weeks each summer to their home in the coal county of South Western Virginia, where I had been born. In 1981 my granddaddy retired from the mines and they packed up and moved to south Georgia. After that I’d often ride the Amtrak train down there and spend weeks with them. I remember when I was seven or eight, my Granny took me “up town” as they’d say, and bought me my first pair of overalls. She later took pictures of me in those britches, posing on the front porch wearing a straw hat and pretending to smoke an old corncob pipe. Years later I recall my granddaddy taking me to the movies to see Star Trek, The Wrath of Khan. I know he’d have rather been anywhere else, but instead he was there with me watching science fiction on the big screen. He was a great man.

Last weekend she encouraged us to take things from her house, saying it would be less she’d have to move when she leaves. When I first walked in there was a huge pile of pictures on the bar in her kitchen. My mom and dad had been going through them, at Granny’s insistence, taking any of them that had our branch of the family featured on the glossy black and white or colored surfaces. The pile quickly diminished as we looked through them, choosing ones to take home, and laughing at the memories.

I also was allowed to take a few other mementoes. I chose a few things I remembered enjoying from my childhood. One was a miniature cast iron stove, complete with pots, pans and coal bucket. I spent hours as a kid playing with that little stove and imagining what it must have been like for people to have to cook on a full sized version of something like that. One of the other things I took was a 1902 edition of the Sears and Roebuck catalog. God, I spent so much time, as a child and early teen, flipping through the pages, studying the clothes, wagons, tools, etc that were for sale so long ago. I’d worn the poor thing out back then and Granny had had to tape it up several times throughout the years. Man, these things sure brought back such wonderful memories.

I’m so thankful to still have Granny with us. I regret that I’ve not spent as much time visiting with her in the recent past as before. I guess things change when you grow up and have jobs and kids of your own. I just hope I won’t find myself anytime soon regretting not spending more time with her before she leaves us. I think I’ll have to start making that five hour trip to visit more often.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted any pictures so I thought I’d entertain you all with a recent pic of me and Susan making sweet love. Since there’s no actual genital showage I’m assuming this pic will be considered Safe For Work. If I’m wrong please forgive me and click away real quick like! Yeah, by looking at the pic you can easily conclude five things; I’ve gained a considerable amount of weight, I’m totally into eating corn straight from the can, Susan’s hair/face/boobs have changed, she’s suddenly decided having sex with me isn’t enjoyable and I seriously have some filthy carpet and furniture. Yep, that’s one HOT picture. I’m sure you’re glad I shared…

So, on to other things. I appreciate all of you who took the time to answer the questions on my two year blogoversary post. It’s nice to know how some of y’all think of me, and it’s nice to learn I’ve got a few new readers out there. It’s certainly enough motivation to keep me blogging for another couple months!

I had to travel out of town last Thursday to work with some customers in S.W. Georgia. It just so happened that the town I was going to is home to my Grandmother. My parents were down there visiting her, so I took my kids with me and they went back home with mom and dad to Tennessee for a week. Susan and I are kidless this whole week and then we’re going home to Knoxville on Friday evening to spend the weekend with the folks and bring the kids back with us on Sunday. Without the kids around I’m sure we’ll be able to get into a lot more “corn-eating-doggy style-sex-fun”. Sounds exciting, doesn’t it? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

I’ve got a busy couple of days ahead of me. My boss is coming into town today to work with me, so I probably won’t get another post up till Thursday. Have I told you lately how nice it is to have my Internet back up and running? It was weird to not be able to read blogs and look at porn for so long. I sure did miss out on a lot!

I hope you all are having a super week doing whatever it is you do. If you do end up doing something fun, be sure to think of me while you’re doing it…okay? Preferably looking like the guy in the picture above.

Before you get too worried, that’s really not us…It’s just some random pic I found on the Internet. Like you’d really think your hot and sexy buddy Chuck could look anything like that…pshaw!

Two days from now, on July 23rd, I’ll be celebrating my two-year blogoversary. When I started blogging, back in July 2004, I never imagined I’d still be here two years later. Well, guess what? I’m still here. Blogging is in my blood. Although I may not be as dedicated as I have been in the past, I’m still here….and I’m still recording my thoughts for the world to read. I’m seriously thinking that two years, in my situation, is some kind of milestone.

Most of you have been reading me for a while now. Some of you have even been reading my blog since the beginning. Whatever the case may be, I’ve got some questions for you. I really want you to dig deep and think about this before you answer. I’d love for you to tell me, in the comments, your thoughts on the following:

1. As far as you can remember, when did you first discover my blog?

2. Who, or what other site, first made you aware of my blog?

3. Has anything I’ve ever written influenced you in any way? (Let me know the details; good or bad.)

4. Finally - What do I, and/or my blog, mean to you? This may be difficult for many of you, but try to answer if you can.  Just picture in your head…when I think of Chuck I think of….(submit your answer here.)

So many of you have played such a major part in my life over the past two years. Maybe I’ve read your blogs daily, or maybe I’ve just enjoyed your comments. Needless to say you’ve all meant so much to me. I really want to thank you all for being here, and for reading and commenting. You folks are like an extended family to me. I can’t thank you enough!

Y’all have a wonderful weekend and I’ll touch base with you early next week.

Yep, I am finally back among the world of Internet users. Man, what a long seven days this has been. If I’m going to be totally honest here, it’s felt like it’s been like a week or something. It all started last Wednesday when my personal laptop’s ability to connect to my wireless network went out. (Y’all may remember this, seeing as I audio blogged about it.) All I had at my disposal was my company laptop, whose Internet connection was still working, but I was NOT going to use it to access mine or anyone else’s blog. I just don’t trust those corporate IT folks. Who knows exactly what they can see when and if they decide to turn their cyber eyes south and focus on me down here in Alabama.

Yesterday afternoon, around five o’clock, I finally had a computer guy come out and see exactly what was the problem. A new wireless router and $121 later and here I am! Did y’all miss me? I want to give a shout out to Julie for taking the time to update for me! Hopefully I’ll have some time soon to check up on all I’ve missed on your blogs.

Although it ain’t looking like I’ll be able too anytime during the next couple days…

This morning around 9am I’ll be heading out of town to South West Georgia for work. I’ll be spending the night and working with some customers while I’m there. I do intend to find some time this evening to work on a Friday post. You see tomorrow is a special day, and once I fill you all in on what it is I’m sure you’ll all want to be a part of it! Be sure to check back sometime on Friday morning.

By the way, thanks for the anniversary well wishes yesterday! Susan and I had a wonderful three year wedding anniversary. We did some celebrating over the weekend, but yesterday (on the actual day) we met for lunch, and then last night I grilled out some fillet mignon and we feasted like royalty. We then watched shit we’d tivo’d, had sex and went to bed. Hella romantic, huh? Yep, it was more than perfect!

Talk to you all tomorrow!

Hey there, all you fans o’ Chuck, Queen of Pink here updating all of you on the whereabouts of Chuck. He asked me to let you guys know that he isn’t around (blogs or email), seems his internet connection has gone kablooey. It’s supposed to be fixed sometime today and he hopes to be back in time to post about his & Susan’s anniversary on Wednesday.

Wow it’s been like a week since I last posted, and even longer since I’ve posted anything of any real substance. My blogging juices have just about dried up. It’s sad, but it’s been happening now for quite a while. It’s like the closer I get to my two year blogoversary, the crappier my posting gets. Geeze, what’s a blogger to do? I feel my Internet Celebrity status beginning to slip…

So….on to the routine slop you’ve all come to read…

We had a wonderful four day trip to Tennessee, and I’m home now but still on vacation. My parents were at their other home in Virginia so we pretty much had their house, and the pool, all to ourselves. Susan’s sister, Julie, joined us and the five of us had a good time catching rays, swimming and eating, and watching the neighbors shoot off fireworks.

My Dad has recently learned that his company is offering an early out/retirement deal (he’s still 3 years from the previously required age) and he’s wanting to take the opportunity and permanently relocate he and mom to their Virginia and/or Florida homes. They are wanting us to buy their Tennessee home and move to Knoxville. Normally this wouldn’t be possible, but it just so happens that Susan’s sister is HR director at a company up there who makes a product that my company uses in the production of the products we sell. Her company is looking for talented sales people, and with my experience in the product line, I have a good chance of landing a job, and I could expect about 15K more base salary than I’m making now. Susan, with her experience in the radio biz and knowing many important contacts in that market, could easily land a higher paying job there in her field.

There’s only three obstacles (assuming we both got the new jobs) that could cause us trouble. First, I’d have to convince the exwife that moving with the kids four hours away from Birmingham is a good thing. If I have the conversation with her I’ll point out that she’ll be graduating from nursing school in a year and a half, and these next 18 months are going to be hella busy for her in school. Then, once she graduates, she can go anywhere and get a job. Knoxville has some pretty snazzy hospitals and I’m sure they pay well. Secondly, we’d have to sell our house. There is a lot that needs to be done before we can sell; new roof, carpeting throughout, kitchen floor, etc. My last home appraisal, in spring of ‘05, had my house valued at $60,000 higher than what I bought it for in late November of ‘02. When we re-fi’d last year we took all the equity so we could pay off some bills. This leaves us in a situation of not getting to make too much when and if we were to sell. The third problem is that my parent’s house is valued at about $100,000 more than my house now. Yeah, they’d work out a deal for me but I can’t expect them to take too much of a loss. They deserve to make some money out of the deal. Good thing Susan and I’d be making more money.

So this is pretty much what’s been on my mind lately. I’d really love to move back to Big Orange Country and the opportunity there would be good for both of us. We also love my parent’s home (pictured here and taken with my cell phone). It may not look like much in this crappy picture, but it’s really a beautiful place. It’s only about five years old, much bigger than my house, and the pool and landscaping are awesome.

Okay there you have it. Y’all can wake up now, if you’re even still here. See, I told you this was routine boring crap!

In other news I’ve become hooked on Stumble Upon. You download the free service, it attaches itself to your tool bar and then you choose the subject matter of the kind of websites you like to visit. You then just click on the icon and it’ll take to you a random website in your area of interest. If you don’t like that one you just keep clicking and “stumbling upon” other pages. It’s very addictive, especially if you choose the “adult” feature! So far the favs I’ve stumbled upon are this one and then this “pull my finger” one. Be sure to turn up the volume! Don’t worry, they are both safe for work. I’ve come across many other favorites, but really? You all know how to find all the porn links you could want!

Finally, I’m very excited because The Queen of Pink and her two youngest daughters are on their way (as you read this) to spend a few days with us.  This will be her first visit to our home.  Yeah, I’ve got a lot of cleaning to do this morning!  I know we’ll have a memorable time and I’m sure there will be plenty of excitement to blog about next week! Y’all have a great weekend…I know I will!