Tuesday I had a terrible experience at McDonalds. Mind if I share it with you?
Well, I was working in the home office and around 11:30 Susan calls and suggests I pick up some Micky D’s for our and the kids lunch. She said she’d swing by the house and eat with us. I agree, throw on some shorts (I usually spend all day in boxers) and head to the closest Golden Arches. The place is packed out, including the drive-through so I decide to park and go in and order. Luckily there wasn’t a long wait in line so I order the food; two quarter pounder with cheese combos, a double cheeseburger, a six piece nuggets, a southern style chicken sandwich (I had a free coupon) and two additional fries. Yes, that’s a lot of food. The chick working the counter puts all four fries the four sandwiches and the McNuggets all in the same bag. I grab the drink carrier with one hand and the bag full of food with the other, turn to walk away and the food bag rips and all the food pours out onto the floor and some guys feet. I look up, apologize to the man, and see about five young Mexican children pointing and laughing at me. Stifling my urge to check for citizenship papers I turn back to the counter and find the same woman who filled my order staring at me like I’d just taken a shit in the middle of the joint. I take the receipt from my pocket, hand it to her and tell her to refill the order but to use two bags this time. She did, and when I got home I found I was shorted one of the quarter pounders. Yeah, I was hella pissed. This got me thinking of other fast food excitement I’d experienced in my life….some good and some others not so good.
I remembered the summer of 1990 when I lived on Panama City Beach with Bo Snagley and some others. I worked at Arby’s and was such a good employee my boss let me do all kinds of odd jobs around the joint, including mowing the patch of grass behind the restaurant. The uniform I wore consisted of navy pants, a cheap Arby’s pull over shirt and a logoed visor. Every time I’d have to cut that grass I’d naturally sweat in the 100 degree heat and I’d get chaffed between my legs around my nut sack. When complaining about this to Snagley one day he suggested I not wear the boxer briefs I usually wore and go commando. His reasoning behind this was that the material of the underwear was trapping the sweat, and I’d spend all day with that sweaty wetness betwixt my legs gradually causing the chaffing. Without the undies the sweat would be free to run down my legs and voila…no rash. Believe it or not old Snag was right. Damn, that was a summer of fast food hell! I loved it so much I transferred my employment, when I returned to college that fall, to an Arby’s location near campus.
I also recalled the two exciting experiences I had once in a Taco Bell drive-through. I witnessed some titties and a blow job and wrote about it almost two years ago here. Go check it out if you’d like.
Thinking about fast food BJ’s made me fondly recall an experience I had once in New Orleans during Mardi Gras. It was in 1988 or ‘89, I can’t recall which since I went to Mardi Gras both years and really? It’s hard to remember much after partying there for a few days. Anyway, I was at Burger King with a couple of my homeboys, late at night, drunk and still wanting to party. We were sitting there eating our Whoppers and onion rings when these two big haired hot chicks walked in. My buddies egged me on and not willing to walk away from a challenge I stepped up to the counter where they were ordering and told the pimply faced punk behind the counter, “Sir, I’d like to buy these ladies a drink.” Yeah it sounds lame now, but for some reason these chicks loved it. Especially the shorter of the two. I can’t remember her name now, so we’ll call her Red. Red was hot….about 5′4, big tits, cute ass, mini skirt and flaming red hair. The ladies ended up joining us at our table and one thing led to another and I found myself in Red’s Camaro making out and heavy petting. I don’t remember much more than that, but I do remember the blow job. That chick could lick, suck and nibble like a pro…and she swallowed! I can still see her pulling her head up off my junk, swallowing and then grabbing her Burger King cup from the dashboard and taking a big swig from the straw. Yeah, it was sexy!
So I may have had a bad fast food experience the other day, but they haven’t all been so bad. Believe it or not I even have more stories. It’s sad, but much of my life’s experiences have rotated around fast food….
Have a good one!
I could really use a vacation. Maybe a nice week, or weekend even, at the beach. Laying on the sand, soaking up the sun, having a nice adult beverage with some kind of pineapple or cherry on top. Occasionally taking a glance about the beach, checking out the scenery around me. You know what type of scenery I’m talking about. Maybe it’s a hot bikini covering a tight bod with long hair, supple breasts and just a hint of camel toe. Or perhaps it’s a rippling muscled body strutting along the water’s edge, shirtless in trunks, sunglasses and a whiff of suntan lotion (yeah, that last part would describe me…follow along with my fantasy, okay?) Can you picture what I’m painting here? A calm, sexually energized, yet memorable experience. Almost a post card kinda scene.
I gotta tell you I love this show, Hell’s Kitchen, and this dude, 
Or maybe that was me hoping they’d blow me. Regardless, the times sure have changed…