I didn’t think I would have anything to write about today. I racked my mind trying to think about recent events in my life that I could share with you folks. I mentally listed everything post worthy that’s happened lately; sex with three prostitutes in a crappy hotel on the Southside of Birmingham, six car pile up (caused by me) on I-65 south, penile reduction surgery, talking Julie down from yet another attempt to jump off her town’s tallest (2 story) building and taking a second job as a cowboy then falling in love with my range riding partner. None of it seems quite interesting enough. Then it hit me…why not share eighteen of my most recent “key word searches”. You know that’ll be all kinds of exciting! So here you go, actual ways people have searched for and come to my blog, along with my thoughts on each one…

• Facial (Google) I can do it for you, just hold still…

• suck my pussy (MSN) I’d be happy, just wash it first…

• super nanny jo frost sexy (Google) You got that right, she’s hella sexy!

• how to sneak alcohol onto cruise ship (Google) I did it, and got away with it.

• tappin dat (Google) Tappin dat what? Could it be, um…azz?

• tennis bent over panties “skirt rode up (Google) Yeah, I’d love to see that…

• I sit her on my lap and run my hand up her thighs (MSN) Oh yes I do…so smooth…

• “sat on my desk” and “spread her legs” (Yahoo) First let me clear some of these papers and files out of the way…

• The barber’s massage caused me an erection (Google) Been there, done that…twice

• 50 things bad about Tobacco (Google) What? Are you saying there is actually anything bad about tobacco?

• up chuck deep throat (MSN) Yes, please do…

• views up her skirt (Google) My favorite view of all.

• we want pussy (MSN) Chant it with me….”We Want Pussy!”

• lap sitting hard panties (Google) Hard panties? What are they made of…metal? Ouch…

• Well Chuck, the date started out ok, but as soon as we got to the door, she seemed to tense up (Google) Yeah, been there dude…tell me more…

• mom lifted up her skirt and sat on my lap (Google) I hate when Mom does that…unless it’s your Mom.

• copenhagen snuff studs cock gay (Google) I dip Copenhagen Snuff, but I certainly DO NOT dip gay stud cock…not that there’s anything wrong with it.

• what’s worse coke or lemonade? (Google) Mix the coke with bourbon and the lemondade with vodka and they’re both good!

The crazy part is that these are just a small portion of the weird hits I get daily. On average I get six or seven of these zany key word searches everyday. I know all you bloggers get them too, but I’ve never (until now) taken the time to point them out.

Y’all have a great Tuesday!!