I did some beer drinking this past weekend. I like to think of myself as a beer snob but really I’m not. I’m more of the Miller Lite kind of beer drinker, but I did treat myself to a bit of a tour of American Micro Brewers on Saturday. We went to World Market to look around a bit. I was hoping to find some of that yummy (did I just write yummy?) Kokanee beer I enjoyed so much of when I was up in Canadia, but alas it was not to be found. Instead I found a 10 pack of different beers from all around the U.S. I bought it, took em home and let em chill. Later that evening I took my “beer tour” and got a bit on the tipsy side. Usually I can drink an eighteen pack without getting a buzz, but some of those babies had a little more alcohol content than my usual brand. Plus, with the diet, I’m not eating as much these days. Woooo eeee did I get my drink on!! I enjoyed all of them except the chili beer. It actually had a chili pepper in it. Yeah, it was a little on the hot side.

I started with these…

And finished up with the rest. In my inebriated state I must have thrown out the last bottle, even though I’d intended on saving it for the picture.

I also developed an extreme case of jealousy this weekend. Susan had been needing a new cell phone and to convert over from the old AT&T cell service to Cingular, where she gets a corporate discount thanks to her job. We bought her the black Razr phone. That baby is tough. She also got a better bluetooth cordless ear thingy than I have. Mine’s only got two hours of talk time and her’s has eight. I am giving myself two weeks tops till I get a Razr phone for myself. Yeah, I’ll have one….you doubt me? We also got my daughter a cell phone, they threw it in free with the rest of the purchase. I’m not a real believer in a twelve year old having a cell phone, but since it was free and the plan only went up $10 a month…what the hell. It sure made her day.

The total highlight of my weekend had to have been Sunday night. Susan made us all, as a family, watch Auntie Mame. Boy howdy, it sure was exciting let me tell you. I was counting the minutes till the damn thing was over. I’m sure it was a hit in 1958, but now a days? Not so much.

I did get me some hot kinky monkey sex Friday night. Susan saw my HNT pic from last week, and the comments (surely not the picture itself) must have turned her on. She practically raped my ass. (For the record, when I say “raped my ass” I don’t mean she actually inserted anything in there. Okay?) Yeah, something about other people’s appreciation of her man really got her juices flowing. Hell, if I can get more comments like that I just may have to get even more daring in my future picture posts! It sure paid off for me this time.

I may be heading up to Chattanooga for work later today, so if I’m not around much over the next couple days you’ll know why. Later!

Brad, one of my best friends, called me the night before. “Hey man, my parents are out of town the next couple days. I’m staying home “sick” tomorrow, why don’t you skip school and come hang out with me and Rick.” It was a tempting offer, but I wasn’t in the habit of skipping school. As a matter of fact it wasn’t my habit of doing any real delinquent activities. I had a scholarship to work towards and I was one more year from graduation.

“Brad I’m not sure. I don’t want to get my ass caught again.”
“Man don’t worry about it. Nobody will know.”

I thought about it for a few seconds and said, “I think I’m gonna go to school. How about I come over right after school and hang out with you guys?”

“I have a better idea” he said, “why don’t you call Tricia and get her to skip too and both of y’all come on over here and hang out. We’ve got seven beers and four wine coolers.”

He was certainly tempting. A chance to hang out all day with my new girlfriend, and drink some booze….I couldn’t imagine it getting any better than that. “I’ll have some condoms laying out where you can find them, and you can use my room for as long as you want.” He said, sweetening the offer.

Condoms…obviously that meant full blown sex. Something Brad had already done with his ex girlfriend and something I had yet to have taken part in, though I hadn’t exactly confessed to. It was exciting and tempting…

“Okay, I’ll give her a call. Listen, my Dad needs to use the phone, so I doubt I’ll be able to call you again. If I’m gonna be there I’ll show up around eight or so. If not, I’ll see you after school.”

The next morning I picked up Tricia in the Senior/Junior parking lot at our High School and together we drove to Brad’s house. In no time we were drinking beer and wine coolers and watching The Price Is Right. We were laying together on the couch while Brad and his step brother Rick were sitting in the two recliners on the other side of the room. We began to kiss while we lay there, and soon the heavy petting began. Brad cleared his throat to get my attention.

“Chuck, why don’t you take Tricia and show her some of my cassette tape collection in my room.” He said with a grin.

We got up from the couch, still kissing, and walked out of the living room, down the hall to the last door on the left.

Tricia sat down on Brad’s bed and said, “Lock the door, okay?” I turned to push the lock button in and turned back to see her holding up one of the condoms he had laying on his night stand.

“Come here.”

I followed her advice and joined her on the bed. We kissed and our hands wandered. Within minutes I had her skirt up around her waist and her panties down. I removed my shirt, jeans and underwear and began rubbing my rock hard cock through her abundant pubic hair and against her flat stomach. She removed her hands from around my neck and again presented the condom to me. I fumbled with the wrapper, but eventually figured it out. She helped me roll it down my dick and I unceremoniously plunged it into her. My GOD what a feeling! I was having sex! I was actually screwing for the first time. We kissed as we fucked. We began to get a rhythm going. It felt so good. I began to feel like I was getting that same feeling I got when I masturbated. I knew what was going to happen next…..then, we heard the doorbell ring.

Oh shit! Brad’s parents were home early! It never occurred to me that his Dad and Step-Mom wouldn’t worry about ringing the doorbell. Tricia and I scrambled to get our clothes back on. I left her in the room and walked back down the hall to the living room, zipping my pants as I went.

“Really? You’re kidding me.” I heard Brad say as I entered the living room. He was standing at the front door talking to the mail man who was delivering a package, too big to fit in the mail box.

“It’s all over the t.v. It happened a little while ago.” The mail man said.
“What’s going on?” I asked.

Brad shut the door just as his step-brother was turning the television back on.

“The mail man just said that the Space Shuttle blew up.”
“You’re kidding me.” Was my response.

We spend a good part of the rest of the school day, glued to the events on the television….Me, Brad, Rick and Tricia.

Twenty years ago today I lost my virginity and our country suffered a terrible loss. Do you remember where you were when you heard the news?

“The crew of the space shuttle Challenger honored us by the manner in which they lived their lives. We will never forget them, nor the last time we saw them, this morning, as they prepared for the journey and waved goodbye and “slipped the surly bonds of earth” to “touch the face of God.” President Reagan, January 28, 1986

Can I just say how much I’m hating this show Dancing With The Stars? Susan’s got herself hooked on it and we’ve been watching it every week. Of course it’s not on just one night, but two. There is the hour long dancing show on Thursday nights, then the lame ass “kick off” episode on Friday. What joy…..If she decides she wants us to take ball room dancing lessons I’m divorcing her.

Anyway, now that I have that off my chest, let me get on with this post. First let me just say I had intended on not posting much this week. I’ve been real busy with work, and y’all know I’m trying to spend less time in the Blogosphere. Well the whole queef episode happened Monday night and it’s been all down hill from there. Then there was Half-Nekkid Thursday yesterday and I just had to put my two cents worth in. Thanks for all the comments, by the way. Remember, the Internet adds 15 pounds…and objects appear larger than in real life.

Okay, to round out this week of posting I require some input from you all. Thanks to the queefing incident I’ve been wondering about embarrassing sexual experiences. I know it’s been asked before on countless blogs, but I’ve never asked…..so, tell me about your most embarrassing happening betwixt the sheets, or in the backseat, or on the dining room table, etc. We’ve all got one, so come on and entertain us!!

I hope you all have an awesome weekend!

How much wood could a wood Chuck chuck?

Well it’s been a few weeks since I last participated in Half-Nekkid Thursday, so I thought I’d come back with a bang. Okay, well maybe not a bang exactly, but a never before seen side of The Chuckster, to say the least. That’s got to count for something, right?

I took this pic a couple days ago. I was a little on the “happy” side…I’d just been imformed I was gonna get me some more good loving. It turned out to be a great night. Believe it or not, I was able to rise, even more, to the occassion!

Happy HNT to you all!

Wow thanks to all your comments yesterday, I’ve learned quite a bit about Queefing over the past 24 hours. I can’t thank you enough. I especially appreciated the link Ed left in my comments. Click on it and check out number three. It’s so fitting and informative, especially for those queefers down here in the deep South. His help here just intensifies the importance of the UK/USA alliance. I’m thinking George and Tony could grow even closer, and crush terrorism, if only they understood the importance of queefing…Do you think Laura and Cherie ever experience such vaginal melody? Knowing the importance of their husbands, I sure hope they do.

For the record, and to answer several of your comments, I’ve f**ked my way through my fair share of queefing in the past….it’s just been a while. Therefore it took me a bit by surprise. It should also be noted I hold both national leaders, and their wives, in the highest of regards. No need to send out the Secret Service!

Y’all have a wonderful Wednesday!!

I have a question for you ladies. Men feel free to put your two cents worth in as well….

Last night the wife and I had sex. It wasn’t average sex, it was GREAT sex. We started out with me laying back and her hands and mouth doing their magic. Exploring the freshly shaved wonder that is my genitalia. Once things had hardened properly she climbed on top and did the “rodeo bull ride” for a good ten minutes. Then she slowed down, came to a stop, and asked me if I’d take her from behind. I told her I’d be happy to oblige and she climbed off and got on all fours; positioning herself, and ready for a spearing.

I quickly got down to business. She was so wet and I was hella hard. It was pure poetry in motion. After six or seven minutes I decided I wanted to put on a condom so I could get the feeling of depositing my payload in the hanger. I pulled out, rolled down the rain coat, then went back to the business at hand. I pounded her for a good time. I did stop once and pull out, just long enough to let the motor idle for just a second or two. I dove back in with a vengeance. A few minutes later found the both of us coming just like the US Mail. Wow, it was awesome!

Once the waves of pleasure had passed I pulled out and began taking off the rubber. As I was doing so she got up out of bed, to go pee, and that’s when it happened. She ripped a big one. Even though it was pitch black in our room she must have sensed my shock and dismay. The shock was because it was like a record breaking fart. The dismay was due to my embarrassment that she did it at all. When I gasped she heard me and said,

“That wasn’t a fart. That was air from my vagina. (Yeah, she actually used the word “vagina”…how weird is that?) Sorry baby, all that pounding must’ve done it. But it sure was good though, right?”

“Right…”

What my wife had was a “cooter pooter.” There is a proper word for it, and it begins with a Q or K, I think, but I can’t figure out how to spell it now. Anyway, her coochie was making some serious noise for couple of seconds.

So now for my question….Is this normal? Do other women have this happen when they’re getting it hard from behind? I know all the displaced air has to release itself some way, but is this the norm?

Yeah, she’ll kick my ass when/if she reads this.

Edit: Yeah, the word I was looking for was Queef. Thanks Julie! I have experienced it before, it had just been a while.

I took care of some business this weekend that I’ve needed to do for a while now. I manscaped. It had been a month or so, and just let me say the bush was woolly. The yard had been needing trimming and it was starting to sprout some weeds. The grass was totally growing up the tree trunk. I replaced the batteries in my Micro Touch shaver, locked myself in the bathroom and went to town. Good lord, with fresh batteries that little thing was humming like a weed eater! If you don’t already have one I highly recommend it. They’re perfect for other things besides pubes…check out the link…ten bucks at Wal-Mart. Anyway, I stood before the mirror in our bathroom and within five minutes or so I had a decent sized pile of hair in the sink. A couple minutes later I was done….with the trimming. I still had the boys to take care of. Like many men these days, I prefer a fully shorn nut hammock. My wife happen’s to like it as well. I lathered those babies up and pulled out my Gillette M3 Power Nitro. This is like the best razor ever. It works great on the face and just as good on the boys. Well worth the meager investment, in my opinion. Later that day my wife and I both enjoyed all the effort I put forth, but I shan’t go into all that now. Surely you’ve heard enough.

My kids were with their Mother this weekend so on Sunday I picked up my daughter around noonish and took her on one of our “Father and Daughter Movie Dates.” We went to see The New World, the recent Colin Farrell flick, and let me just say now….save your money and wait for it on DVD. Actually it might not even be worth paying to see it when it comes out on DVD. This movie was one of the most boring flicks I have ever seen. I’d rather sit through a movie on the Lifetime Network than have wasted those two and a half hours. I’m a huge history nut, especially pre-Colonial American history, and I was convinced I would really get into this move. Unfortunately I was totally wrong! Colin Farrell should stick to homemade porn movies. He definitely put more into screwing his ex girlfriend than he did to this movie. Yeah in case you were wondering, I was one of the lucky few who was able to download the homemade porn movie before Colin’s attorneys put a stop to the websites who had it listed. Ain’t I a fortunate one?

Over all my weekend was pretty good. Yesterday I made a pot of collard greens and grilled some chicken. I was even surprised when my son ate four or five bites of his greens. It’s exciting to see him eating more vegetables. Especially ones who aid in this digestive/pooping. We watched The March of the Penguins last night while we ate and enjoyed another FFD. Check out last Tuesday’s post if FFD doesn’t ring a bell.

Today, a year and a half ago, I took my first step into the blogosphere. I honestly can’t believe I’ve been at it this long. Some things are truly amazing.

Well, I suppose this is about it for today. I have a busy week with work, but I’ll try to get another post in soon. It may be a day or two till you hear from me, so try to keep your tears to a minimum. Meanwhile have a super week!!

I went and got a haircut today. You may remember the last time I got one, I wrote about it here on my blog. I go to a place called Sport Clips. In case you aren’t familiar with the chain I’ll fill you in on the layout of the place. The entire salon looks somewhat like a athletic locker room. There is a big screen television out front to watch while you wait, and there are also smaller t.v.s built into the lockers at each hair cutting station. You can watch whatever is on ESPN the whole time you’re there. The place is also decorated with athletic paraphernalia. Here the main decor is Alabama and Auburn, but there is some other SEC school stuff as well.

For $20 bucks you get a cut, then a head massage while your hair’s being washed. After the wash a hot towel is wrapped around your face and you’re given a face massage. It’s all topped off with a neck and back massage given once you return to the chair. They then add gel, brush or comb your hair, and you’re done.

I had the same stylist today as last time, and again it was an arousing experience. How ‘bout I share it with you, m’kay? The women that work there are all fairly attractive. They wear some kind of referee uniform outfit, and they’re all super friendly. My girl today actually remembered me from the last time, and we made small talk while she cut my hair. As she was finishing up she asked if I wanted the “special treatment” and I assured her I did indeed. She led me to the back, or the “showers” as the sign says, but unlike during my last visit she removed the smock thing I had on during the cut. I sat down and leaned my head back into the sink and got comfy. Once the water was warm enough she began wetting my hair, applying the shampoo and started rubbing. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the massage. Several times during the massage she would let out a low kind of moan, almost sexual, like she was really getting into her job. As before, half way through, she asked, “Feel good baby?” Why yes ma’am it sho nuf do!

It was at some point during all this I came to realize I was getting a massive erection. Again, it surprised me. Seriously folks, I’m not sixteen anymore, nor am I twenty-one even. I don’t sprout wood every time the wind blows like I did in my younger days. So getting a hard on, especially one this stout was a bit of a shocker. But I didn’t let it bother me. I continued to lay back and get my massage. Once that was done she placed the hot towel over my face and then bent down and began firmly rubbing my entire face. Because she had to lean over further, her breasts found themselves rubbing against the back of my head, and even touching my forehead on occasion. Knowing this was happening caused me to get even harder, if you can believe it. That’s when it hit me….I wasn’t wearing the damn smock thing and my erection was most likely quite visible. Since my face was covered with the towel, and it wasn’t possible to look down and check, I let my fingers be my eyes and moved my hands from where they were crossed across my chest and onto my lap. There snaking down the inside of my left thigh was lil’Chuck, straining against the material of my black jeans. It was a good thing they were a looser thanks to the weight loss, but still they weren’t loose enough. For the remainder of the massage I kept my hand over my bulge and tried to think of something else.

When we were done, and she was leading me back to the chair, she smiled and asked, “Did you enjoy that? I, blushing, assured her I had, then she added, “Yep, I sure could tell!” Oh God, how embarrassing! Yeah, maybe I should start going back to the barbershop I used to go to with the old man barber.

When I got home I was happy to see Susan’s car parked in the garage. Perhaps my intense horniness would get some relief in the form of a little afternoon delight. When I walked in and hugged and kissed her, squeezing her ass a little in the process, she said those four words that ruined the mood. “I got my period.”

Great……..

I’ve been struggling lately, and I had to take a few days hiatus from the blogosphere. I guess I owe you all an explanation. So, let me begin…

I have a very addictive personality. Throughout my life I’ve put my all into whatever was of interest to me. When I was a kid I would live and breath whatever the interest du jour was at any particular time. Whether it was Star Wars, Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica or Little House on the Prairie I didn’t know how to turn my interest off. I could never be into more than one at a time, I had to devote all my attention to the subject at hand. Things haven’t changed too much as an adult.

Next Monday I will have been maintaining a blog for a year and a half. During the past eighteen months my blog has ruled much of my waking time. There have been occasions where I’ve put other things in my life on hold, just so I could write here, or read other blogs. When I get up in the morning the first thing I do is check my blog, post and read comments. Throughout the day I check back regularly to see what all is going on around this neighborhood of blogs of which I am a part of. It is almost like the blog rules me instead of the other way around. I’m tired of it. No, not just tired but sick….I can’t continue to go on like this. This blog should be a good ways down on the list of what’s important in my life. It doesn’t give me the kind of joy spending time with my kids can bring. It certainly doesn’t pay me a salary, and that is necessary to function in life. Equally important, it doesn’t provide the kind of sexual release spending time with my wife can give. So why keep it? I don’t know, but it’s a question I need to find an answer to. (By the way, wives are good for other stuff besides sex. I just wanted to check and see if I had your attention….yeah, right…)

So what to do….As of last Thursday I had intended to write a heartfelt goodbye post, but now I’m not so sure. While this blog shouldn’t hold the amount of importance as it does, it’s still like a kid of mine. It would be hard to let it go completely. I’m reminded, around this time of MLK, Jr. Day, of that scene from Roots where the children are being torn from the arms of their slave Mother to be taken away and sold to another owner. While ending my blog is certainly not as dramatic as that, it’s still hard.

To be honest I do get a fair amount of enjoyment from maintaining a blog. I’ve made great friends and learned a lot. I’ve grown as a person too, with semi talents I never thought I could have. Writing is one of these. Looking back at earlier posts I think it’s somewhat evident that I’ve grown in skill. Yeah, I’m sure there are many of you now who would dispute that last statement! Still, this blog has brought me pleasure. Then again, the drug addict may say the same thing about their next shot of heroin.

So I guess I’ll keep it for now. Sometime over the past weekend I decided that I wasn’t quite ready to give it up. Instead of giving it up I’m going to give myself some time and see if I can’t train myself not to focus so much effort into it, as well as other blogs. If I’m successful then you’ll be able to continue to see the usual four or five posts a week. If not, then I guess you’ll see that goodbye post in the future. One way or the other I’ll succeed in strengthening my focus in those areas that are more important. It’s a win-win situation for sure. I hope you’ll all agree.

In other news I’ve lost thirteen pounds over the past eight days. My diet is going well with only the rare moment of cheating over the weekend. On Sunday we had what I like to call a Family Fun Day, of FFD for short. This particular FFD found the four of us having a nice lunch out then going bowling. My five year old son was particularly excited about it saying, “I’ve never bowled in my whole life.” Then somewhere during the seventh frame everyone was bored but me. The boy was whining about his bowling shoes hurting his feet, my daughter was mad because she kept getting gutter balls and Susan was pissed over the Indy/Pittsburg game. Seeing as the FFD was not so fun, my feelings became hurt and I got all grumpy. I ended up getting them all dipped cones from Dairy Queen on the way home, and everyone’s mood brightened after that. When we got home Susan asked if I’d mind if she took a little nap, and I said no just as long as I could get a blow job later. She promised she’d give me one, but never followed through. So much for my FFD.

Well, I hope you’re all having a good week. I’ll stick around and I’ll be talking to you all again soon.

Be back soon….