It’s the last day of 2005 or, depending on when you’re reading this, it’s the first day or so of 2006. A fresh new year. A new beginning…a time to start over, in a way. All the ups and downs of the past twelve months are in the books and now it’s time to strike out and make new things happen.

As I look back over the past year I can’t help but think of all the events that have occurred in my life. It’s late on Saturday morning and, as usual, I’m sitting here alone and bored, so I thought I’d take advantage of the time and write about some of my own personal “ups and downs” as well as some that may have effected all of you.

Blogging

On the ups side, I returned to Blogger from a few months with my own domain. I’ve found it’s much easier for someone of my limited computer knowledge to use. I have also influenced at least one person I know to start up his own blog. In the almost a year he’s been blogging he’s gathered a nice following and turned out some good stuff. I’ve had the opportunity to personally meet with four bloggers, and have gotten to know many others via the phone, chat or e-mail. Another up would have to be Half-Nekkid Thursday (HNT) which I’ve become a big part of over the past six months. Osbasso created a real gem, and it’s created it’s own community of folks linked in yet a different way.

There is only one real down I can think of, besides the fact I spend way too much time writing or reading blogs, and that would be the whole “comment word verification” thing. What a pain in the ass! If you can’t deal with an occasional spam comment that can easily be deleted, why not just get Haloscan? It’s free and oh so easy to use. At first I balked at leaving comments where I would have to type in a series of letters in order to post, but eventually I gave in. Still I will really consider whether it’s worth it, especially when it’s HNT.

Friends

The up side to this area is that this has been a year of great friendships for me. I’ve made friends with many people around the world thanks to this medium we know as the Blogosphere. A nice hand full of these people have become more than friends (and less than lovers…sorry I couldn’t resist), they’ve really become folks I can’t see doing without. Best friends I could say. Who would have thought I’d find my BFF via words on a 17″ monitor? Wait a second…I almost forgot, I did find my wife via the Internet…….oh, my bad.

The down side here would have to be not getting to hang with and get to know these people in person. I do hope to remedy that soon though. Look forward to an upcoming announcement in the weeks to come…

National and World news

Obviously this has been a bad year when it comes to disaster. Whether it be man made or acts of nature, it’s been a rough one. Although I could fill several pages on this subject I’ll just stick with one…Hurricanes. This past hurricane season was a bitch, and nothing was worse when it came to damage and loss of life than Katrina. As do many of you, I live within a short driving radius of the effected areas and it effected me (lost business), but no where near as bad as those who were actually along the coast at ground zero. The lives lost and the property damage was unthinkable in itself, but then there was the finger pointing, blame game and playing the racial card. Many folks were blamed, and some even accepted the blame (even though it wasn’t their fought). When in reality those who should have been most ashamed got away with hardly a slap on the wrist. There was a lot of ugliness during this time, the destruction aside, and a lot of stupid things were said (uh, hello…Kanye).

I guess the only up side to all of this that I can see would have to be the giving spirit of the American people and our friends around the world. We pitched in, dug into our wallets, and gave more than we though we could. It truly was an amazing thing to see. Hopefully we won’t have to experience anything like it again.

My Personal Life

A lot of good happened to me this year. It was a good year for me, my wife and my kids. The previous year was one of stress and accusation for my wife and I. In ‘05 we settled into a calmness, although it was cool and lacking passion. After going through one divorce I can never imagine experiencing another. So I am content and happy to go through life in a perpetual state of living like room mates. Yes folks, that is an up as I see it. My daughter has flourished in school during the first half of her seventh grade year making A’s and a few B’s only, on her report cards. Doing tons better than the year before. My son has grown into a sweet and caring young five year old. They teach me daily that being a Dad is the best thing in the world. Even conditions with my exwife were better in 2005. For this I am especially thankful. The first two years of divorcehood were hell.

Over all the biggest down I can think of would have to be my personal health and fitness. 2005 was the first year, in five, where I totally blew any ideas of consistent diet and exercise out the window. This is one area I’m very glad to be able to wipe the slate clean and start over. I’m not getting any younger, right? Not only have I lived the year hardly moving off my ass, but my personal bad habits had a chance to really flourish as well. Yes, there will be a lot of slate cleaning indeed!

I could go on and on, but I reckon I’ll end here. I’ve never looked forward to the coming of a new year more than I have with this one. I have a feeling that ‘06 is going to be a good one for me and those I care most about. I hope each of you can say the same. There are always ups and downs in everything. Hopefully we can continue to celebrate the ups and learn from the downs.

Y’all have a safe and wonderful New Year’s Eve and party it up. Try to have as much fun as these two ladies seem to be having!

P.S. I’m not condoning the activity in that first pic…been there, done that…I just thought it was an interesting picture when I found it.

It’s become the custom, in the nearly three years since my divorce, that my kids spend the week after Christmas with their Mother. They’ve been with her non stop now since Monday. They’re only about 20 minutes away, but I probably won’t see them until late this weekend. I miss them something terrible. I do talk with my daughter everyday, and yesterday she sent me this picture in an email. She thought it was pretty funny, and I do as well. You see, we’ve recently discovered that our Cairn Terrier, Trooper, doesn’t ride well in the car. He’s constantly moving about, bothering everyone and trying to see everything he can out the windows. In the weeks since our trip to Canada we’ve made an effort to take him with us occasionally so he can get used to being a car rider. I imagine if he was sitting in the back seat, and there was a sudden acceleration, this could possibly happen to him.

You know, it occurred to me last night that I’ve always had issues with the Dr. Seuss book, The Cat in the Hat. When Susan and I got into bed we began watching the HBO documentary, Cat House 8,….(ain’t legal prostitution wonderful?)…then I switched it over to the Mike Meyers Cat in the Hat movie from a couple years ago. That movie is just as disturbing as the book and the original cartoon. There is just something about that Cat, and Thing 1 and Thing 2 that freak me out. I can remember being a child and thinking how terrible, and scary, it would be to have the three of them visit my house. Plus there was that poor goldfish. All it was trying to do was warn the kids of the dangerous cat. But still the rampage continued….How do you control them? They’ll do whatever they want and there’s nothing you can do about it. It was terrifying to me as a child. Just as bad as those flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz! It killed me when they ripped apart the Scarecrow.

I sat at the foot of the bed for about thirty minutes watching the live action (although totally computer generated) version of the classic tale, and I realized I was feeling the same old surge of terror I used to feel as a child. No wonder I’ve never really liked or trusted cats! They’re shifty and untrustworthy on a regular day, but hook them up with a couple of Things and they’re a force to be reckoned with.

Speaking of forces to be reckoned with, I discovered a blog today from a fellow HNTer, as well as a fellow Alabamian. He recently took a trip to the Biloxi/Gulf Port, Mississippi area and took a few pictures. It’s amazing that, five months later, the destruction is still so visible. Hurricane Katrina was such a bitch! He doesn’t need the publicity, his blog has a good following, but click your way over there and check out his pictures. I’m familiar with several of the land marks he has photographed. I was in that part of the country back in March, and I posted a few pics while I was there. If you want to check them out click here and here. I’m glad I bought a t-shirt what I was at the Biloxi Hooters restaurant. I doubt you can get one now.

My week of weird dreams has continued. I’ve documented them in the past few posts and Wednesday night they continued. I dreamt I was aboard a cruise ship, docked at NYC (yeah that’s weird) and I had lost my five year old son. I looked all over for him. On every deck of the ship, as well as the warehouses on the docks. It was scary and oh so freaky. Plus there was some kind of Soprano’s looking characters following me around while I was searching. Folks I tell you, these dreams I’ve been having are totally out there! I’m about ready for them to stop. Last night it was more of the same, only this time I was selling gift certificates online good for sexual services from me. They started at $250! Yeah, I’m that good!!

It is Osbasso’s suggestion that those of us who have participated in Half Naked Thursday post our favorite personal picture from 2005. Well, I’ve been a pretty regular HNT poster since the earliest days. In the past six months I’ve posted seventeen entries. Of those seventeen there are four that are my favorites. Since I couldn’t decide I thought I’d post all four and let you decide. These pics vary from me in action behind my wife…to me on the can…to a couple of me posing completely bottomless with props. So……what you think? If you want to see all the others you can check out my HNT links in my sidebar over there on the left.

Here’s to a the end of one Half-Nekkid year, and the beginning of another!!

Happy HNT!!

Curling

Who would have actually thought this could be a sport? Especially one deemed worthy of the Olympics? I’ve recently become aware of this game/event/challenge?, and I can honestly say I see nothing about it that excites me in the least. The only way I could find myself the least bit interested would be if it the contestants were completely naked, and they were all young and attractive women. I’ll use one of my Dad’s sayings here, “I wouldn’t walk from here to across the street to see it, even if they paid me.” Curling is a weight training exercise or something chicks do to their hair….not a game played on ice.

So, how is everyone’s week going? Good I hope. Mine you ask? Well, since you asked I’ll just have to say it’s going alright. I continue to have some really weird ass dreams every time I go to sleep. It all started with my Christmas Day nap, and has continued non stop since then. I know there are some of you out there who have some very vivid and memorable dreams, but not me. Until now, that is. Last night I dreamt I purchased a mansion with 50 plus rooms. Not only was it a historic home, but it was also a department store, bar and restaurant. For some reason I wasn’t told prior to buying it that the house also served these other purposes. I remember being really pissed off about this, until I found a stash of diamonds under the stairs worth billions. Yeah, see….I told you….weird shit, huh? Again there were bloggers and or frequent commentors present in my dream. Several of you were there; either at the bar, shopping in the restaurant, or in several of the many bedrooms/lovin’ rooms of the mansion. I won’t name names here because really, I don’t want you all to know I like you that much!

That’s about it for today. Not much has been going on during my “week of doing nothing”. Well, wait a minute….There was one thing that did happen last night worth mentioning. My sexual dry spell ended. Thankfully I finally got me some after a little more than a week. I know it’s shocking to some of you. You probably think a stud like me is getting it every day, several times a day, but alas….that’s not always true! LOL

Talk to you tomorrow!

…and hearts will be glowing,
when loved ones are near.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

Christmas has once again come and gone. I suppose I’m glad it’s over. Now I dread having to de-decorate and put away all the Christmas stuff. I’m not usually one to leave the crap up through New Years. Once the big day is over, I’m ready to put it all behind me for another year. Hell, we’ve had the tree up since November 20th. That’s long enough in my book.

My daughter and son had us up at 6:40am Christmas morning. By nine all the present opening was complete. I like to keep the unwrapping of the gifts orderly and organized. Each person opens one gift at a time, then after admiring said gift, the paper/tissue/etc is put into a garbage bag, and the gift is stacked in the opener’s predetermined spot. Sure, call me a Christmas Nazi, but it works. There won’t be any lost or thrown away goodies with my routine. Later I spent some time helping my daughter figure out how to operate her new iPod nano, and download the software onto her lap top. That little thing is pretty sweet. I may see another one being purchased in a couple months for yours truly.

I took the kids to their Mother’s around 11ish so they could open presents with her, then came back and took a two hour nap. I don’t usually take naps, believe it or not, but when I do I’m pretty much guaranteed to have some weird and freaky dreams. Sunday was no exception. I won’t go into too many details but I will say that one of my blogger pals made an appearance in my dream. I dreamt this particular buddy of mine interrupted, and put an end to, me doing something that would compromise my marital vows. But then again, it’s not really cheating if you do it whilst dreaming, right?

All day, after my nappage, I cooked our Christmas dinner. People, let me tell you something….I just have to come out and say it….I’m like the best cook ever! Seriously, I could be a head chef in some swanky restaurant or have my own cooking show on The Food Network. My cooking kicks ass! I wish I could post for you here my recipe for Holiday Dressing, but I just can’t. It’s just a too special and exquisite thing. Although all you regular readers are worth it, I can’t risk having random people who pop by here having access to it. Who knows what might become of it then? So, if any of you really want it and want to attempt perfection the next time you’re making a holiday meal, send me an email. Maybe I’ll write it down in a word document and make it available to the privileged few.

All in all it was a perfect Christmas here in Chucksterville. My daughter even made the statement, “This was the best Christmas ever!” Aside from seeing the happy looks on their faces as they gazed upon their gifts, what else could be better? I hope you all had a great one too. If you’re heading back to work today, good luck with that. I’m off till next Tuesday, so nana nana boo boo!!

Twas the day before Christmas and I’m all ready to get this party started! The stockings have been hung and the tree trimmed. All the shopping is complete, gifts wrapped and ready to be ripped open….all is right here at The Chuckster’s.

I hope each and every one of you have the most wonderful of holidays. How ever you celebrate, I hope it’s most memorable!

I’ve just come in from a half day of shopping for Christmas Presents. I am now officially finished with my shopping for this year. Now all I have to do is sit back and see the smiling faces of my loved ones as they open their gifts.

My five year old son said the strangest thing to me today in the car. He looked me straight in the eye, via the rear view mirror, and said,

“Dad do you want to go to Vagina Land?”

After my daughter and I had composed ourselves, and once she’d finished spitting Dr. Pepper onto the dashboard. I asked, “Why would you ask that?”

“Just wondering,” he said, “sounds like a cool place!” He then went back to the Christmas carol he was making up and singing to himself.

He’s recently gotten a kick out of learning the words for the male and female genitalia. I’m thinking it was a mistake teaching him the words seeing as he’s called all of us various names like penis and vagina face. But he can’t go through life calling his schlong a “tee-tee”. I just totally never expected him to make the vagina land comment. It was completely out there and unexpected, but it did make me think…..

What if there was a Vagina Land? What would it be like? In my ever so creative mind I began to ponder on this question as I continued to drive home. In my mind Vagina Land would be like an amusement park. There would be all kinds of exciting rides and attractions. Take the Vagina Tunnel of Love for example. You’d ride in a penis shaped boat and stream through the entrance of the Vagina Canal with your lover in your arms.

There could also be a flume ride in this park. Instead of a hollowed out log, there would be large tampons that seated six. The water would be dyed red with food coloring and as the tampon plunged down the slope you would splash into a vaginal entrance, getting soaked. How much fun would that be?

There could also be a similar ride to the teacups at Disney, only on this one you’d spin round and round in cup shaped diaphragms. The bumper cars would be shaped like swimming sperm and you’d navigate your “sperm car” around a large uterine shaped arena with the goal being to bump into a large spongy egg positioned in the center. While getting to this goal you’d have to bump all the other sperm cars out of the way.

Instead of the Haunted House there would be the Stinky Vagina. You’d ride through this structure in large douche shaped bottles, witnessing the horrors of bad vaginal hygiene. There would be the STD Room, the Tuna Room, the Big Bush Room and Smelly Discharge Room to name but a few.

Instead of a Hall Of Presidents there would be a Hall of Famous Vaginas. The vaginas of various well known people, (such as Madonna, Susan Sarandon, Hillary Clinton and Barbara Bush) would be large electronic puppets that would speak to the audience about their beliefs, places in history and sexual preferences.

Okay, I could go on and on but I won’t…Y’all get the picture right? What an active imagination I have….don’t you think?

First off I just have to say….

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIE!!

My little friend, The Queen of Pink, turns 42 today! What an accomplishment! Y’all be sure to stop by her place and wish her the best. She’s hoping for a minimum of 50 comments today. I guess I better say, before she kicks my ass, that she’s actually only 32. She’s such a youngun!

Speaking of Julie, I was talking to her yesterday afternoon and happened to mention that on Saturday I bathed my dog Trooper. Actually it wasn’t exactly a bath per say…I washed him in the shower…with me in there with him….and I was naked. For some reason she found this not only uproariously funny, but a bit odd as well. What do y’all think? It was actually a wonderful way to accomplish his weekly bath. I was able to hold him up, against my chest, and wet him down completely under the shower head. Our shower has a bench seat in it, so I was able to set him down on the floor, take a comfortable seat (being sure not to sit on my balls….I’ve done that before and it’s so NOT a good thing), and lather him up real well with his shampoo. Then I picked him back up and rinsed him. Susan was there at the door to take him up in a towel and dry him off. The whole thing took about five minutes and I have to say it was a lot more comfortable and easier than bending over the tub and trying to hold him with one hand, while soaping him up with the other. So what, I ask you, is wrong with that? Seems perfectly normal to me. Nothing wrong with a little “Father and Dog bonding.”

At some point yesterday I got my Christmas Spirit back. I think it was actually around 1pm, when I went to Sport Clips and got a haircut. Have y’all heard about this place? I’ve been going there off and on for the past six months or so, but I’ve never had an experience quite like the one. First let me describe to you exactly what their services are. Not only do you get a haircut while watching ESPN on several televisions around the place, you can also get your hair washed, then get your head, face, neck and shoulders massaged. In my opinion it’s a great way to spend $20…short of an Oriental Massage Parlor. At one point yesterday when the woman was massaging my hot towel wrapped face, I swear she began to moan. I wasn’t sure at first, but then I heard her say…”Oh yeah, you like that don’t you? It feels good doesn’t it?” I have to admit it was quite erotic. I even sprouted a bit of wood. Who would have thought I’d be walking through a barber shop with a hard on? Certainly not me!

That’s it for today….Have a great Hump Day!

Today I feel totally lethargic. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Mayhap it’s due to my staying up till 3am watching the Bobby Darin biography on The Biography Channel and then some random Columbo movie from 1991. I just can’t get with it today. A perfect example is this….My son just asked where his other mitten was and I told him that he had left it at his Mother’s, so the only thing he could do was chop off one hand since he only had the one glove. See….something ain’t right with me.

I have to work through most of Thursday, then I’m off till next Tuesday. I was all into the Christmas Spirit, but alas it seems to have left me now. I need to get it back and get out of this funk. Maybe it would help if I showered and shaved. I haven’t done so since like Friday. Yeah, I’m thinking that could help. I should also shave my face whilst I’m at it.

Yesterday I went out and picked up our free honey baked spiral cut ham. Susan won a $40 gift certificate for one as a door prize at her Christmas party last Wednesday night. Other people won $300 gift certificates to a jewelry store, or $250 to a leather/fur store, or $150 to a liquor store. Yeah, we won a ham…..figures. Now my only concern is this. Will it last in the fridge till Christmas? It’s fully cooked and I’m thinking I should have waited till later in the week to pick it up.

Speaking of spiral cut hams….have you ever noticed how they look oddly like a vagina? Complete with labia.

If you hadn’t thought of it before, you might now….

I think I’ll take a shower and try to get my act together.

Well, as I mentioned in my last post we went and saw King Kong today. Let me just say….WOW!! It was quite a spectacular film. The special effects were amazing. I loved how they kept it true to the original and set it in the Depression stricken 1930’s. Jack Black even did a good job. Over all I’d say it was one of the top best movies I’ve ever seen. There was one rather disturbing scene where these uncircumsized penis looking worm things attacked, but other than that it was truly amazing. The action was so realistic that I, being afraid of heights, was moved to nausea as Kong hung from the top of the Empire State Building with the chick in his hand. Yeah, it was really good. It’s an excellent way to spend three plus hours. If you go and find you might need to pee anytime in the near future, be sure to do it during the first hour. Once the action moves to Skull Island you’ll not want to miss a minute of it.

And the best part? My wife actually cried at the end! I guess she loves gorillas after all!

Hey I want to thank the 28 of you who have flagged yourself on my Frappr! Map. If you haven’t done so yet, please take a minute and do so. If you have a personal gravatar be sure to upload it as well. It would appear that the Ohioans are in the lead with the most readers from a single state.

I hope the rest of your weekend is ever so enjoyable!

By the way, if you click on the above picture it opens much larger and makes a perfect desktop wallpaper!