What’s “Up Chuck”?

I’ve been vomiting forth the excitement that is my life….Since July 2004

Archive for September, 2005

The Good Old Days…

Posted by Chuck on 13th September 2005

Just so you know I’ve started back on the Atkin’s Diet. I’ve mentioned on these pages before about the success I’ve had with the diet. I lost nearly 100 pounds on it over about six months back in late 2000 and early 2001. Then by February of 2003 I had gained about half of it back. Then, thankfully, my wife decided to leave me and let me tell you….divorce is a great appetite supressant. I quickly lost more than I had gained and was able to attract a new wife. But you all know about those days already. About six months into my new marriage Susan and I began to get a little lax in the diet arena and over the past yeah old Chuckie has gained too much weight back.

Well those days are over, beyotch! I done kicked Atkins back into full gear, but there are draw backs. True, you can lose a ton of weight pretty quick and if you’re into meat/cheese/eggs like I am the diet is a breeze. But….there are always the negatives. For me it’s the lack of frequent bowel movements and well, flatulence. These are two of the daily joys of my life, but for some reason when the carbs are cut these wonderful acts diminish for me. While I’m consuming the carbs I usually enjoy four to six nice and moving experiences on the toilet. You can’t imagine all I get done while “dropping the kids off at the pool.” I have some wonderful telephone conversations, I read Playboy, Maxim, Penthouse, People and Southern Living and I even surf the web. Unfortunately those days are behind me. I’m lucky now to get to “build a log cabin” every other day. God that’s like, terrible.

And then there is the farting….nice, loud, juicy and sometimes stinky, pootage. I’m not the only one who misses this. Imagine how much my wife and kids are longing for the days when I regulary made anal announcements. I’m sure they wish I would once again lean over to the side, while sitting on the couch, and release the “one-cheek sneak”. Damn, aren’t you glad you don’t have to live here with me under these new circumstances? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

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There Are Really Some Idiots In This Country…

Posted by Chuck on 12th September 2005

I thought I was finished with writing here on my blog about the tragedy that was, and continues to be, Hurricane Katrina, but there are just some points I feel I need to make. While watching some of the news shows on MSNBC, CNN and Fox over the weekend, I became more and more baffled that anyone could be so stupid as to blame the Bush administration for what’s happened. To do so is complete lunacy when you look at the facts.

The chain of responsibility for any city, including New Orleans, begins with the mayor. What a joke this Mayor Nagin is. It’s hard to believe he ever was elected in the first place. He was given 5 DAYS advance notice, but waited until 2 DAYS before he announced a mandatory evacuation. And he did so at the request of the President. Then, what amazes me, is that he had over 500 buses at his disposal, buses that could have taken 30,000 plus people to safety in one trip, yet he left them abandoned in the flood.

Next we have the Director of Homeland Security for the city who failed to have any type of contingency plan in place. I’ve heard that there was a plan, and it had been discussed for fifty years, but this bozo didn’t act on it, yet blamed the Federal Government.

The Governor of Louisiana, Ms. Blanco, was given a declaration of disaster by Bush 2 DAYS BEFORE the hurricane came ashore. She could have taken advantage of this declaration and started the ball rolling on aid and troops, but she didn’t. Gov. Blanco, in a news conference and reported by the A.P. said, and I paraphrase, that Bush had called and personally appealed for a mandatory evacuation for the low lying city. So, with this statement, it was then left to the Mayor to carry out an evacuation. He had the authority to act, but since he waited till the last minute, he screwed up. And the people blame Bush? Wow…

There has been so much slamming of the President and finger pointing. There’s also been accusations that Bush is racist, which is stupid when you look at his record of appointments. But I guess it’s easy for the left to blame a republican white president, who did everything right, when so many of the victims in the tragedy are African American. The left-wing law makers, public figures (Jesse Jackson-what a joke) and media are good at trying to stir the shit. I wonder why Nagin and his administration aren’t being called out for their gross negligence in carrying out the established plan and offer of help? Could it be a racial thing? It certainly wouldn’t be politically correct to do so. And Hillary want’s a “Katrina Commission”? What has this country come to?

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I thought this was Funneh….

Posted by Chuck on 12th September 2005


This is so like the way it is around my house…

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Another New Beginning…

Posted by Chuck on 11th September 2005

Well it would appear that I’ve come full circle. I’m back with Blogger, and back at the old What’s Up Chuck? blog. Some of you may remember the five months that I was entertaining you from this blog, although back then it looked quite a bit different. There may even be some of you who remember when I was writing on my first blog, Marriage Made On-line. That’s been quite a while ago.

So why abandon The Chuckster you ask? Well I’m not actually shutting it down, although I’m sure it will go away come April when my year subscription expires. To be honest with you folks I’m giving up on it pretty much because I’m stupid. I’m just not computer savvy enough to be able to work with that blog the way I’d like to. Although I like the idea of having my own domain name and all, I just can’t really do much else other than post. As we’ve seen recently I’ve had trouble posting pictures (the before and after Trooper pics are now featured in the post below), and I hate being dependant on other’s to help me do the kinds of things I would like to have done to my blog. So, I’m back here. Back where it’s easy to post pictures, where it’s easy to add things to the template and where a dumb ass like me can make every attempt possible to continue to bring you the quality entertainment you’ve come to expect from your old buddy Chuck! ;-) I think I’ll stick with this one for a while. I hope it hasn’t been too much an inconvenience to have to click over here to a new site. I hope it wouldn’t be too much to ask you all to kindly update your bookmarks, blog rolls or link lists….Thanks!

I actually started thinking about coming back to Blogger about a week ago and it took a phone conversation with Julie, a.k.a. The Queen of Pink, Friday night to seal the deal. Once I finally got her off the phone with my wife, we talked about making the change. With it decided, she began to help me change and add to the blog you’re reading now. I really appreciate all your help and encouragement Julie, you’re the shit! We’ll always have Carnton. I also want to thank all of you who promised, in my last post, that you’d follow me wherever I went in the blogosphere!

I’ve actually had a lot of help from some really good friends over the fourteen months I’ve been blogging. This help has been quite effusive. It started with Elizabeth and her helping me figure out the simple html code necessary to add links to my first blog. Then there was Becky who, back in January, set me up with a nice template for this blog. She hooked me up and taught me a lot about working with the template and adding all kinds of stuff. ESSFingers stepped in back in April and totally set up The Chuckster just the way I wanted it. All I literally did with that site was use one of my credit cards to pay for the domain name and the hosting. She did everything else. I’ve certainly had a lot of help from some great people who have made my blogging experience better! Thank you all!!

In the near future I’ll be bringing over all the archives from the other blog. I wish there was some way to do it without having to copy and paste each one. It will obviously take some time, but you all have read all that stuff anyway. The only thing that really sucks is that I’ll be losing all of your comments. Oh well, you can’t have it all.

I hope you all have taken the time today to remember the terrible events that occurred four years ago. The anniversary of those events has kind of been overshadowed by the disaster on the Gulf Coast, but we still must never forget.

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Troope’, Le Chien Joyeux…

Posted by Chuck on 8th September 2005

OMG, they’ve taken my Trooper away and replaced him with some weird prissy shell of his former self.

Susan made an appointment for Trooper to spend a day at the doggy spa. He needed a trim, bath, hot oil massage, and pedicure. When I dropped him off yesterday morning around 7:30 I immediately got a bad feeling about the place. Instead of peaceful waterfalls, soft music, mineral water and product laden shelves there were dumb cut out pictures of dogs on the walls and a 90 something year old woman behind the counter. I asked “Granny” if they knew how to trim Cairn Terriers and she assured me they did and that they would trim him just like they did last time.

Okay, so that was not a good sign seeing as we’d never been there before…
When I pointed this out she hurried and got me some paperwork to fill out while some toothless woman in a smock came and took my precious son away from me and back into the bowels of the establishment.

All day long I had a bad feeling about what he’d turn out looking like when I picked him up. My worries were certainly worthwhile. When the kids and I picked him up we found, to our great shock, that our sweet shaggy Trooper had transformed into “Troope’, Le chien joyeux.” He does not look like the same animal. My daughter and I weren’t even sure it was him when he came prancing into the lobby. God, it’s terrible! I was too shocked to even complain. He is laying here now at my feet, but he’s too ashamed to even look at me. It’s a good thing there are no mirrors down at his level or he’d surely want to never go out of the house again without wearing a hat.

Bless his heart….

Trooper Before

Trooper After

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The Party In My Sack Sac…

Posted by Chuck on 6th September 2005

I honestly don’t have much to tell you all about today, but I thought I should write something anyway. I’d hate to disappoint you all. As expected it was a pretty laid back time around here over this Labor Day weekend. Not much happened other than sleeping late, eating and drinking too much, movie watching, shopping and book reading. Oh, but there was the party…

In the nearly three years I have lived here on my cul-de-sac there had been one family who drove the rest of us to distraction. Let’s call them the Marshes. Things went down hill for me and my relations with them when my ex wife, who was my soon to be ex at the time, took it upon herself to tell Mama Marsh that I wanted to have a “swinging experience” with them. Of course this wasn’t true, she was only trying to ruin any friendships I might have had once she realized I was keeping the house. Let’s say Mr. Marsh wasn’t happy when his wife told him what my wife had said. He understood when I assured him that FA was a lying lunatic, but still, the relationship was damaged.

Then there were experiences the other neighbors had with them. Everything from Mama Marsh trying to run the kids down in the street with her car, to her yelling obscenities to the other Mothers on the street. Then there was the time that Mr. Marsh got mad at the family immediately to the left of their house and pelted the homeowner’s truck with rocks one stormy Saturday night. It was never proven he did it, but the rocks were similar to some Mr. Marsh had in a flower bed in his back yard.

All of this drama, and believe me there was a whole lot more, came to an end about three weeks ago when the Marshes closed on their house, moved out and a new lady (25 yr old single chick) moved in. Needless to say we were all very happy to see them gone. Immediately two of the families on our street decided to have a “block party” in celebration of the Marsh exodus and Susan and I got in on the planning. Sunday was the party with several families on our cul-de-sac, and we all had a great time. “The Party in the Sac”, as I called it, went from around 4 Sunday afternoon till after 9 that evening. Each family brought something to contribute to the barbeque prepared by the originators of the event. I made corn on the cob and baked beans. The beans were quite good. I am sure those of you within 500 square miles of here might have noticed the cloud of noxious gas hovering over this part of central Alabama.

Saturday was the beginning of the 2005 football season for the University of Tennessee. The Vols took on the University of Alabama at Birmingham (UAB) in their season opener. It was expected to be a bit of a blow out, but alas that wasn’t to be. UT did win, 17-10, but they struggled at times. Granted, UAB has an excellent quarterback, but as usual Tennessee made some stupid mistakes. Especially with our fairly rookie quarterback, Eric Ainge. Although he did throw for a touchdown, he still threw two interceptions, one which set UAB up for their only TD. Rick Clausen came out and did quite well performing, in my opinion, much better than Ainge. I hope to see him starting in two weeks against Florida. Seeing the Vols struggle at times, like they did Saturday, was a bit scary, but then Susan reminded me of the first game of the 1998 season. You know, the season where Tennessee went undefeated and won the National Championship. I won’t go into details about the similarities because you’re most likely skimming over this part anyway. Suffice it to say, they barely beat Syracuse that year and struggled through the next couple of games, then came out on top.

One last thing before I close this up. QoP and I have started a little blogger book club (I actually typed boob instead of book and just had to go back and edit….how funneh!) We’re reading The Widow of the South by Robert Hicks. It’s pretty interesting stuff if you like history and books about the War of Northern Aggression. Of course I’m sure it wouldn’t have been her first choice, but methinks she’s kinda liking it now! Thankfully her husband was able to explain to her which side was the Yankees and which was the Confederates. Uh, yeah…that’s kinda sad! Just kidding (a little) Queen. Don’t go getting your panties in a….wait, never mind.

Anyway, if any of you would be interested in joining our little club, feel free. Get the book and start reading! It’s only $17.47 at Wal-Mart. It’s worth it, trust me!

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The Chuckster Rants (edited with new information)…

Posted by Chuck on 1st September 2005

I’m going to do something here I don’t often do….Give a strong opinion about current events. If you don’t like to hear the personal views of others, I encourage you to skip this post…

EDIT Friday 8:00pm:

Okay, so I’m watching this really nice NBC live, live I say, production tonight staring Faith Hill, her husband Tim McGraw, Lindsay Lohan, Harry Connick Jr., Aaron Neville, Glenn Close and Richard Gere, Eli Manning, Mike Myers, John Goodman, Kanye West, Branford Marcellus, etc.

The whole show was a live benefit to raise money for the American Red Cross’ hurricane aid for the peoples in the effected areas. So there would be a song, then the camera would pan over to the right, or stage left if you were there, and one or more of the famous people would talk about giving to the R.C. Sometimes they would be joined by Matt Laurer (who was the host) and it would usually be followed or preceded by video of the destruction. So, towards the end we see Mike Myers and Kanye West (pronounced Kahn Yay) ready to read from the teleprompter and address America. Mikey reads his part ( I guess they couldn’t find enough willing American celebs, or maybe he was just in town, and you know we all love us some Austin Powers…at least I do anyway…) So Mike Myers reads his part and then pauses for Kanye to take up reading the words scrolling before them. But K-Dog, as I like to call him, doesn’t read. He chose to come up with his own interpretation of things. He begins to go off on how it’s just the black people who are suffering, and how they only show black people looting and then when they show white people, they’re only looking for food. Oh and he said “we’ve given the Army permission to shoot the blacks!” I don’t remember all that he said, but you get the drift. Meanwhile poor Mr. Powers was standing there, eyes shifting off stage, looking ever so uncomfortable. The look on his face made it obvious this wasn’t planned….at least not by the producers of the show. Once K was finished with his rant, Mike took back up reading the prompter. Reading, mind you, the words that were supposed to be read. As soon as he was finished Kanye took over and said,

“George Bush doesn’t care about Black People!”

The look on Mike Myers face was priceless! The camera shifted and suddenly we see Chris Tucker trying to come up with something to say. He did a good job, but you could tell he was obviously put on the spot. Damn NBC…can you say Janet Jackson and wardrobe malfunction? Where was the delay?

WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT!! So you want to make a statement by being STUPID? I can’t believe this dumbass Kanye West would be so uninformed to say something like that on live television. His attempt at making a statement left him looking like the biggest piece of ghetto trash. To say something like that is a true sign of total ignorance. It amazes me to think there are people in this country who have such a infantile, back assward view of our national leadership and national situation.

I’m sure his little out burst will be all over the Internet soon. If you happened to miss it happening live you’ll, no doubt, be able to find a clip of it. I hope Kanye Googles himself and finds a link to this post. Hey Kanye, if your reading this, you are a big piece of uninformed shit. I hope you grow a brain sometime soon. This nation is trying to help out those affected by this natural disaster. Our President is doing everything possible to make it happen. We want to save everyone affected, white/black/yellow/green. I think you may have a few other problems you should work out. Ever considered counseling? You know what? In a situation like this, where some people are killing, raping and stealing from the innocent, the cops and military should have permission to kill. Too bad it ain’t happening, in my opinion.

Edit Friday 10:35pm: Thanks to my friend ESSFingers I now can offer you an edited version of the video clip. He said more prior to the point where this vid begins, but still, you’ll get the drift. Click here.

If you’d like to read the perfect, IMO, post about NOLA, click here. Mox, good work. That was beautiful!

now the original post from yesterday….

Yesterday I wrote about how bad I feel for the victims, refugees and property damage Katrina left in her wake. Today I am just plain pissed off. I have been watching more and more television coverage and listening to radio talk shows and somehow I’ve began to wonder how this can happen in The United States of America. Now, I’m not wondering about the storm. While it’s true I was shocked at the destruction Katrina caused, I’m now flabbergasted at the idiotic mentality of the people who decided to ride it out. And I’m primarily pissed at the freaking idiots who are purposefully breaking the law in the City of New Orleans.

First of all, I can understand that many of the people who stayed behind in the city were lower income folks. People who didn’t have the means to travel out of town. Maybe they didn’t have family in Texas or Alabama they could live with. Possibly they didn’t have the money to stay in a hotel. Or they could have been old, sick or crippled and unable to physically leave. But the point is that they were warned. On Saturday, two days before she hit, the governor of Louisiana gave the evacuation orders. Everyone who could, should have left. Even if they had to walk to a shelter, they should have gone. Deciding to “ride it out” like they’ve done in the past is stupid. I watched a live report on Sunday with Shepard Smith of Fox News describing the people still partying on Bourbon Street. WTF? You’ve got a category 5 storm heading your way and your throwing back beers and slipping dollars to strippers? Now I like to get my drink on as much or more than most folks, but I ain’t stupid. When the government tells me I should move my ass, I ain’t gonna sit around and wait for a personal invitation.

Then you have the looters, rapist and murders. I have heard of first hand accounts on tv of murder and rape in the streets of the city. There were two murders in the Civic Center last night. When the sun goes down in the city at night, the bad guys come out to play. THIS disgusts me to no end. While it’s true that this shit does happen all the time all around the country, it just seem so much more savage to me when it happens under these circumstances. Maybe it shouldn’t but it does. To think of armed bands of gangs with AK 47’s roaming the streets at night, taking what they want from those left behind makes me want to do something damaging myself. There are those who had no choice in leaving, as I mentioned above. To think of them huddled in their water logged homes or apartments, fearing for their lives….God, it’s deplorable. If I were in charge, these pieces of shit wouldn’t have a prayer. There would be decapitated heads of rapists and murders lining the building tops at the corner of Canal and Bourbon. I’m sorry if that sounds too severe, but like I said, you don’t have to read this if you don’t want. There was also reports of looters climbing over the bodies of people who drowned in their homes just to get to any valuables they may have had. Can you imagine? Corpses of American citizens are being plundered by Americans.

It was just announced that a large number of Guard soldiers are on their way to aid the police in taking back the city. I’m glad they’re coming to help but, why now and not yesterday? I know that our National Guard units are spread thin since they’re needed in Iraq and Afghanistan, but my first thought, when I head about the lawlessness the other day was, can’t we send units from other states? I thought I would never say this, but I am a bit disappointed in the President’s timely response to all this. I am as big a Bush supporter as any other decent American, and I will continue to be, but I can’t help but think he could have headed back from vacation a bit earlier and rallied the troops quicker. It’s happening now, but again, I just wish it would have happened yesterday or the day before. I was glad to hear he’s got his Father and President Clinton set to raise money for relief like they did so successfully for the tsunami situation.

And that makes me think of another thing. Where’s all of “Liberal Hollywood”? Why haven’t we heard from all those folks? Why aren’t they working to help out like Tim Mcgraw and a handful of others? Oh I’m sure they’ll show up eventually and bitch about oil and the price of gas. We need to round all those people up, and while we’re at it snag that bitch Cindy Sheehan up too, and make them clean the bad guys out of the city.

Okay, I’ll end this rant. If I’ve offended anyone by what I’ve said, well…all I can think to say is “tough titty”.

EDIT 5:50pm: I found these pics, and others, on EchoBooming In Birmingham’s blog. Not sure where he got them, so I’ll give the credit to him.

Before:

After:

Wow, can you see the difference? I know the pics are kind of small so you might want to click here and here to see the satellite pictures in a bigger format. They do take a while to load so if you have a slower connection give it time…it’s worth the wait.

Y’all have a good day.

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