Well now, how do I follow yesterdays pathetic post? How about with a picture of me and Susan? Go see it quick cause once she finds out she will surely make me delete it. It isn’t the best picture we have ever taken and it’s certainly not net worthy, but there you go…The Chuckster and his Woman in all their (sweaty, buzzed on wine, been working in the yard at the Mother-In-Law’s house) glory. Someday I will figure out again how to post them directly onto my blog, until then…enjoy my picture galleries.

Thank you all for your comments on yesterday’s post. I was just writing about my views on the unfortunate shit that sometimes happens in this wonderful place we all hold dear, the Blogosphere. You know, blogs really are a good thing. As my new friend Cowboy Colby pointed out (I paraphrase here) blogs are unique. Not too long ago if you looked into another life with such honesty and depth you might get slapped with an restraining order. Thanks Colby for that observation. He’s right. Those of you with blogs, think of what you write about and imagine you telling the same stuff to your friends at work, or the lady in line behind you in the checkout lane, or an acquaintance at church, or a stranger on a street corner, or Yolanda down at the convenience store. It wouldn’t happen. Being anonymous on-line gives us the chance to say what we really want. We can even post pictures of Big Bird if we want to and don’t have to worry what the next door neighbor would say. Try putting a life sized stand up of Big Bird in your front yard why don’t you. You reckon the folks who live around you might cast a concerned eye in your direction? Uh, yeah I think they would. Well you can do that on a blog and no one will care. Anyway, I love blogging and I appreciate you all who visit here. I also appreciate all the comments. Thank you all so much! I love each and every one of you….yeah, I have had a cocktail or five.

So, speaking of blogging….There is going to be some changes around here. I have been spending too much time on this new computer sharing with you all and not enough time focusing on what enables me to pay for this new laptop. From this point on I will be turning my 9a to 5p attention to my job. It is way too easy, when you work from home, to spend more time doing what is more entertaining than what is more important. That’s got to change, but I will still find time to post. Worry not…I will find the time to offer you a glimpse into my life and I will do so either before work or afterwards. And I will get back to your comments during those hours as well. Thanks for understanding. Of course I am sure I will always find the time to take a break here and there.

In other news I am anxiously awaiting the upcoming football season. Many of you know that I am a diehard Tennessee Volunteers fan. I submit this picture to you (NSFW) so you can see the love I have for the Vols. I can’t wait for the 2005 National Championship UT Volunteers to take the field in September!!

Okay, it is 1am and I suppose I should be in bed. I have a big day of work ahead of me tomorrow. You all have a lovely Thursday, okay?

Have you ever observed, either first hand or from a distance, something tragic or stupid and you swore you would never let something that dumb happen to you? Well I have, and I feel like shit for letting myself get all wrapped up in it. I have to keep remembering that the blogosphere isn’t real life. What bloggers write about is only a smidgen of their lives. The content of a post is usually just a small percentage of what happened on any given day. I have found reading blogs to be fun, informative and very addictive. I rarely go a day without getting my fix. I like reading other blogs much more than I like writing on mine.

I have sat back and observed some really crazy shit on the Blogosphere. I have seen “blog affairs” rise and fall. I have seen healthy friendships amongst bloggers form and have also seen them end. I have known bloggers who find such great friendship through the blogs that they actually travel and meet their blogger buddies. I have seen married bloggers get all wrapped up with other married or single bloggers in a way they shouldn’t. I also know of one marriage between bloggers that will happen soon. I have seen a lot and I have either rejoiced or been disgusted, whatever the case may be.

Do I think the Blogosphere is a bad place? Well, until recently I would have said no. Even when I have heard of marriages or jobs affected by blogging I still wasn’t completely down on them. I guess now I am seeing things differently. I have seen the blogosphere become a virtual Peyton Place as well as a juvenile school yard complete with the teasers and bullies. I have also seen drama form that would qualify for an Academy Award any day. Most of you reading this now know of at least two or three blogs that the writer has shut down or stopped writing on either because a significant other discovered it or for some other reason.

Then again the Blogosphere can be a good place. We all know of the bloggers who write for therapeutic reasons. They paint the story of their rough life or strained marriage and often solicit advice for their worries. This can be a good thing indeed. There are also the bloggers who bring us news or political views or just random shit that can be considered funny in its way. Then there are my favorites, bloggers who are happily married and write about the day to day events, even those of a sexual nature, that occur with their spouse. I think this is all good and healthy for obvious reasons.

I am not sure what kind of blog it is that I have. I guess it is one of those that really serve no purpose. I don’t have any real tragedy or strife in my life (besides the ex wife) and I am not very entertaining. I don’t bring wise thoughts to the table and my sex life isn’t usually juicy enough to relate. I don’t scour the net looking for witty stories to share and I don’t offer advice for others. I guess I just exist and for some odd reason there are two to three hundred of you who read daily. In twenty-five days I will have been blogging for one year. I can not believe I have stuck around this long. When I first started with the first blog there were things happening in my life and marriage that I thought I would want to write about. A week or so into it my wife discovered my blog and so it evolved along another route. I was glad in a way, and in retrospect it is probably a good thing she did. Who knows what I may have said or did with out knowing that she could, at anytime, pull it up and read it. To this day there is nothing I do on-line that I try to hide from her. She has access to all passwords, email and messenger ID’s. I wanted that to be the case because it would help keep me honest. There are also those that I have, or had, a relationship outside the Blogosphere. She is aware of those situations as well.

All in all I am not a very good person I suppose. I let too much get to me. I have let myself get wrapped up in the juvenile drama that often happens. I also, obviously, don’t know how to take a joke. Well, I have realized that I need to change. I can accept responsibility for mistakes I have made. I have been told recently to lighten up and not be too sensitive…I hope there are others who will do the same.

Blogging can be a fun hobby and healthy friendships can be made. In however long it is I choose to continue with this blog, I hope to find more acquaintances and friends. You can’t have too many, right? It makes it even better when they treat you the way they would like to be treated themselves. This is my goal…shouldn’t it be all of ours?

A bit of random rambling….

I have been terribly down in my back. It is a muscle pull, I think, but I can not for the life of me think of a time I could have pulled it. It’s not like I do too much in the strenuous department. A few months back I could have blamed it on the strenuous thrusting and slamming of sex, but there hasn’t been an encounter like that in a while. Maybe it is just sore from sitting on my ass reading too many blogs. Anyway, yesterday my wife was on her way home for a little while during the work day. While on her way we talked on the phone and she told me she would rub my back for me when she got here. This was all contingent on my having made bacon and eggs for us to eat when she arrived. You see we started on the Atkins Diet yesterday and foods like that will become staples for a while now. After eating our breakfast/lunch (brunch?) I got in the shower and then, once clean, asked if she was ready to commence the rubbing. Dressed only in my boxers she told me to bend over the edge of the bed to stretch my back out. I did and she stood behind me, as if to mount me in the doggy style position, and began to rub and knead. She pulled my boxer shorts down about mid ass and focused on the tight knot of muscles at my lower back. She remarked about how tight they were and said I should see a real massage therapists sometime soon. She then got out some BENGAY cream and began to rub it in. I could immediately feel the hot burn of the cream as it went to work on the cramped muscles. What I wasn’t expecting was what she did next…She took one of her BENGAY covered fingers and slid it up the crack of my ass, getting the stuff well coated on my bootyhole. Oh what pain! Now this was NOT nice. I immediately began to squirm and told her to clean the shit off ASAP. Not taking my advice of using her tongue she took a wet wash cloth and cleaned my crack. It didn’t help much and I was forced to leave the house for my trip to Wal-Mart with a burning bung hole. Fortunately it stopped burning by the time I met FA at Hooters.

Let’s see, what else…As I mentioned above we are doing low/no carbs. Last night for dinner we had hamburger patties fried and covered with sharp cheddar. Later in the evening we took a shit load of pepperoni slices and baked them in the oven on 425 for ten minutes till they we nice and crispy. It was actually a rather nice snack. I love pepperoni and I like it when its real crispy on top of a pizza. Mmmm, pizza….

My kids are up in Tennessee spending the week with Nana and Papa and my sister. I talked with T this morning and she told me they have been having a ball swimming in the pool, staying up late, shopping and just hanging out with the grandparents. It reminds me of when I was a child. I used to spend a week or two every summer with my Mother’s parents in Southwestern Virginia. My grandfather was a coal miner and he usually worked over night. I can remember him leaving for work in the evening and my Granny packing his lunch in the big black lunch box he always carried with him. He would come home from work in the mid morning hours covered in black coal dirt. It was funny to see him practically change races daily. He would stand over the grate in the basement floor and, using a garden hose attached to the washing sink, wash the black dirt away. Then he would tell me to go check his lunch box for a surprise. He would always save me one of his Little Debbie cakes from his overnight meal. He was a great guy and a wonderful Granddad. I also remember the time my Granny took me for my first pair of overalls. I can remember her taking pictures of me in the overalls, wearing one of Grandad’s hats, with a corn cob pipe in my mouth. Yeah, I was a cute kid. I didn’t wear overalls again till college. I was actually wearing a pair in the cafeteria on the day FA first saw me. She always said she wondered why she thought I was so hot since on first glance I was dressed like a hick.

In other news we are still struggling with house training Trooper. We have been lazy parents and haven’t been as diligent with the training as we should. All that has changed now. We’re watching and constantly and taking him out regularly. Especially after he eats. Carin Terriers have a very short colon and it doesn’t take them long for their crap to make it’s way out.

Speaking of colons I was speaking with a friend the other night and was told that I should try to allow Susan to massage my prostate during sex. First of all, getting her to do this would be difficult. She ain’t much into the kinky side of things. Secondly I am not sure I could handle it. I’m sure there are many of you male readers out there that like to have things shoved up your asses, but I am not one of them. I reckon there are even a few of YOU who like to use gardening tools for this purpose. I’m not sure about it though. I will have to do some heavy meditation on the subject and get back with you. I did mention it to Susan a little while ago and her response? “You’re not having gay fantasies are you?” So I guess that doesn’t bode well for the future of prostate massage. If I decide to try it I might be able to find someone down at that Adult Video Arcade down on 10th street to give it a whirl.

Okay, that’s about it for today. I hope you all are having a swell Tuesday!

edit…1:57pm…Richard Scrushy has been aquitted here in Birmingham of fraud. I am glad to hear it. This was just another example of THE MAN trying to hold the rich white man down…

You may remember my recent posts about my exwife, FA, and her reluctance to help out financially with the kids. You may also remember that I had written that I intended to have a talk with her soon about needing some financial support in the near future for the kids and their school expenses. Well today was that day….but you won’t believe the circumstances of our discussion.

I left the house today around 1pm to run and pick up a few things from the store. Just as I was leaving she called me on my cell phone. What follows is a synopsis of what was said on the phone call:

FA: You remember that time you wanted to have a talk with me about ending the alimony and you asked to meet me for lunch?
Me: Uh….yeah, why?
FA: Well, I need to talk to you. Can you meet me somewhere today?
Me: Uh….maybe, what’s up?
FA: I’d rather talk in person. Could we meet somewhere in about thirty minutes?
Me: Okay, I will be at Wal-Mart, call me when you get close to there.

We met in the parking lot and I intended to have her sit in my car and talk but she asked if we could go somewhere and eat. I had already eaten, but she said she was starved. She chose the new Hooters restaurant and I readily agreed. We arrived at Hooters, found a seat, ordered drinks and she began to tell me she had three things she needed to talk to me about.

The first item floored me right away. She informed me that she wouldn’t be able to keep the kids anytime in the near future because she was having surgery on Friday and would need some recovery time. I asked what the surgery was for, thinking she had something terribly wrong with her (besides her mental state) and she proceeded to tell me that she was having a boob job! She is getting her tits increased from a low B to a double D. She said her Mother is paying for it and since she had paid to have her sister’s boobs done she felt obligated to do it for FA too. After all it’s an “image thing”, she informed me. Immediately my mind went to the four thousand dollars Susan and I shelled out for my daughter’s braces, not to mention the countless other things we pay on a day to day basis. You know, the regular expenses in raising kids. The expenses FA does little to help with. She couldn’t ask her Mother to shell out a grand for the braces, but she sure can beg for some boobage.

Secondly she informed me that she is transferring to the University of Alabama at Birmingham in the fall to go to medical school. She is three classes shy of qualifying for med school, besides taking the MCAT, and should be able to enter their med school in Spring 2006. Now many of you may be thinking there is no way, based on what I have written about her, that she could make it in college much less medical school. Well I guess I should let you know that since she has been back in school over the past year and a half (except for the times she was in hospital for attempted suicide) she has done quite well. Taking the required classes for nursing school, she has maintained a 4.0 grade level. The chick may be dumb, but she ain’t stupid. Then again, when you don’t have to worry about working or raising kids, anyone could do well in school. I can not believe that I may have to refer to my exwife as “Doctor FA with the big tits” someday.

Thirdly, she is suing the married/therapist/pastor man she was screwing late last year, and the church he worked for. It is a very long story and I shan’t go into it here. Suffice it to say she has a very good case. This man took advantage of a patient he was treating for suicide attempts, depression and sexual addiction and made her another notch on his headboard. He has since confessed his indiscretion and resigned his position at the church/cult, but he still has a row to hoe when it comes to FA. She very well may be able to take him to the cleaners. So not only will my ex become a doctor someday…she could be rich even before she ever has a practice. The kicker to this last part is that her attorney asked her if I would be willing to testify, if needed, that she was never suicidal any during the fourteen years I knew her. I am thinking for about 10% of any winnings I would be willing to say anything. After all, it would be for the kids.

Once she had her say about everything I told her there was something I needed to tell her. I told her that we would be needing some financial help this school year with the kids. I let her know that I expected her to pay for T’s hot lunches at school every other month (about $50 a pop) and that I wanted her to split the cost of L’s preschool with me every month as well ($75 per week). I would also need some help with clothes and other school related expenses that come up along the way. She didn’t batt an eye and said, “Sure, that won’t be a problem.” Yay, me!!

So there you have it. Quite an interesting day for the Chuckster. I can’t wait to see what happens next!

I would like to take a minute and give you all a big thank you for all the comments and emails regarding the death of Susan’s grandmother. She is very appreciative to you all as well. We returned home yesterday evening and have been literally exhausted. It was a jam packed last four days.

Her grandmother was 87 years old and the past four years of her life had been spent in a nursing home due to a stroke she had suffered. From the accounts of all who testified, she was a remarkable woman who lived a full and wonderful life. She was always willing to see to the needs of others before her own. She was greatly loved and will be missed.

Unfortunately I don’t have more to say right now. I have a lot to catch up on with work so this site may be silent for a day or so. Please bare with me, I promise to get back to it soon…hopefully sooner than later.

We have had another death in the family. Susan’s grandmother, the woman who practically raised her and her sister, died very early this morning. We are now getting things together and heading to Tennessee. The wake/viewing is tomorrow night and the funeral is Saturday morning. I will get back to posting soon. I hope you all have a nice weekend.

“To squeeze the purple-headed yogurt-slinger, to slap the monkey, bopping the baloney, burping the worm, choking the chicken, cleaning your rifle, corking the bat, cranking the shank, cuffing the carrot, fisting your mister, flogging your dog, flogging the hog, to punch the clown in the nose, flogging the log, flute solo, jerkin’the gherkin, looping the mule, manual override, painting the pickle, pocket pinball, pocket pool, polishing the banister, polishing the rocket, pounding your flounder, pumping the python, roping the pony, spanking the monkey, teasing the weasel, whipping the willy…”

Masturbation….everyone does it or has done it, right? Granted, some of us don’t have to do it as much as we used to, then there are some who do it a lot. I recently had a conversation with a fellow blogger about the first time we had personally discovered the wonderful world of “jerking off”, or “twirling the girl” as the case may be. Then many of you probably saw the above linked post by ESSFingers about her experiences with “self loving” this past weekend. It’s out there, it’s happening and I suppose it should (could?) be talked about.

I am sure there are those of you who are thinking, “I don’t come to this blog to read about masturbating. I come here to read dumb ass stories about red necks named Alligator.” Well, if that’s the case, then I am sorry. You may want to move on now to the next blog on your list. In my recent conversation about this subject I shared a story about my early days practicing the art. My listener suggested I share this on my blog and suggested others do as well. So here goes….

I don’t exactly remember when I started masturbating, but I do remember how and who taught me. I will not share the how/who with you here, as it is too embarrassing to write. What I will share is some of my earliest memories of masturbation.

In the seventh grade I began playing football in school. We would have practice after school and then one of my parents or a teammate’s parent would bring me home afterward. Before I could sit down to dinner I would be required to take a shower. The house we lived in at the time had a large walk-in shower. Lined with ceramic tile from floor to ceiling, it was probably five feet long by five feet wide. It was in this setting that I perfected the art of masturbation.

In my worn out and tired state I would often find myself sitting on the tile floor of the shower, allowing the hot water to pour over my head and beat upon my neck and shoulders. As you can imagine, it was ever so relaxing. At some point, and I don’t remember the exact date, I discovered that it was possible for me to take advantage of this relaxed state and easily become aroused. Redirecting the water flow I could sit there, body completely wet, and use a slick substance to lube myself and not have to worry about the water washing it all away too soon. My substance of choice was Flex shampoo. For those of you who don’t know, Flex is a very affordable shampoo found anywhere you buy cheap hair products. My Mother, being the penny pincher she was/is, always bought this brand. It seemed there was a never ending supply of the stuff at my house growing up. With just the right amount of water and a big blob of Flex I could go to town. I would sit there, on the shower floor, choking my chicken and smelling the wonderful aroma of the shampoo. I tell you what, I can not smell Flex shampoo to this day without thinking of jacking off after football practice. Seriously….just a whiff of the stuff takes me back. With my goal in hand, it wouldn’t be long until I was aiming for the round grate in the shower floor and busting a big ass nut. It was my goal to get it done before I would hear my Mom pound on the bathroom door and yell for me to get out and stop wasting water. I would make it to the dinner table with clean, although wrinkled, fingers and hands. The next time you are at WalMart or a drug store open a bottle of Flex, take a deep smell and think of me!!

So there you have it. I have presented here a little bit of info about The Chuckster you could probably have done without knowing. But it doesn’t end here…I want some input from you too. What I would like for you to do is share. Just from my “tell me about you” post it is obvious you folks like talking about yourself. To date there have been 50 comments on that post (keep ‘em coming), and I thank you. Now I want you to share with us here, or on your own blog, your fondest memories of masturbation. It could be your first time. It could be, like me, a particular way you did it. It could be a way you like to do it now. Anything is fine and nothing is taboo. Y’all share away! If you choose to chronicle your personal habit on your own blog, please let us know here in my comments so we can all come and take a peek into your private life.

Thank you for reading and thank you, in advance, for participating…

Good morning! I suppose I should write a little something about what all occurred this weekend with my sister-in-law and her husband. As you read in Friday’s post she is planning on leaving him, although he doesn’t know it yet. I expected things to be a bit tense. I assumed she would be distant with him. I thought you would be able to smell ruin in every action, but it was not to be. They acted like a couple who was very much in love.

They arrived before Susan got home from work. The three of us sat in the living room and caught up a little. I was surprised how happy they seemed. How he would sit with his arm around her and she would snuggle into his shoulder. After a few minutes he went out to the truck to get something and as soon as the front door closed behind him she turned to me and confirmed that their marriage was over. She said she just couldn’t handle it anymore. He was so mean to her five year old son that the boy couldn’t stand being around him. His two boys treated her son badly as well. She said that all he wanted was sex and would have it morning, noon and night if he could. She hated the way he made her watch porn DVD’s every night and act out the action on the screen. She said he was verbally abusive with her and the children. She pretty much said she had made a big mistake and wanted out. As soon as he walked back in her attitude changed and she was Ms. Lovey Dovey once more.

That evening we cooked out hamburgers and had a nice dinner. Later that evening the four of us sat out on the deck and drank and talked. I had mentioned in the earlier post that I had only met this guy twice before. The first time was pretty brief and the second was last Thanksgiving. I am in no way a prude, don’t get me wrong, but I was slightly shocked (as was Susan) when he sat there and constantly farted and burped as we would talk. Julie would be like, Rob…how gross, but it didn’t seem to faze him. I guess he had trouble handling the baked beans from supper. Of course later, after quite a few beverages, I took a piss in the yard and Susan was equally shocked, but it was dark out after all. Later that night I had a wonderful two hour phone conversation, until the wee hours of the morning, while standing in the kitchen. The kitchen is directly under T’s bedroom, where we had them sleeping, and for a while I was sure I heard the bed squeaking from above.

Saturday was pretty laid back. We watched TV for a little while until Susan went to take a nap. Julie and Rob decided to go to Bed Bath and Beyond to look for some everyday dishes for their home. When he saw our Noritake Colorwave dishes he decided they needed something new as well. Julie turned to me and rolled her eyes as if to say, “We don’t need to get new dishes since we won’t be a family much longer.” Never the less I gave them directions to the nearest BB&B then settled in at the computer to watch the Gush 3 DVD they had brought with them.

Once my interest in the mysterious female ejaculation was met, Susan woke up from her nap and we watched a little of a movie on HBO until Julie and Rob returned. Once they were back the four of us decided to go out for some margarita’s and maybe some dinner. At four thirty, freshly showered and dressed, we all headed to Superior Grill for some of their famous frozen concoctions. While we were there we ate our fill of chips and chile con queso, so we decided to skip dinner and do a little sight seeing instead. We took them around the city but avoided downtown since the annual City Stages festival was going on. We didn’t want to get bogged down in that traffic. Instead we took them to the Vulcan and rode the elevator up to the top and looked out on the city and surrounding mountains. It was Susan’s first visit to the top and she marveled at the view, as did we all. Down below us, on the grounds of the monument there was a wedding taking place. We watched from ten stories up while the happy couple recited their vows. Under my breath I yelled, “Don’t do it!” and “Run while you can.” Everyone got a laugh out of that, seeing as I am so damned hilarious.

After our site seeing excursion we all headed back to the house and again sat out on the deck drinking and listening to Rob fart. He and I did shots of Jagermeister and Goldschlager and ended up having a grand old time. I must take a moment here and say that I really do like this guy. Of course I am not married to him and don’t have to screw him twenty times a day, but I had fun with him. It’s too bad he is such a sucky husband because he makes a damn good brother-in-law.

Sunday morning they left for home and Susan and I went and picked up the kids for Father’s Day. Overall the visit went rather well. It was a lot of fun, but also sad in a way. It was a little depressing to be a silent witnesses to a marriage that is soon to end. I can’t help but wonder how he will react in the weeks to come when he discovers that he is going to be slapped across the face with a surprise divorce. I also wonder if she will really go through with it, or if she does leave, will she let him again talk her into coming back. I doubt I will loose any sleep waiting to find out.

Oh there was one pretty funny thing that happened. I was talking with T on the phone Saturday and she asked where Julie and Rob had slept. When I told her they were sleeping in her bed she acted all mad and said, “Well did they make it?” It took me a second to realize she was talking about the bed and not sex. She is only eleven of course….oh, and I did wash the sheets after they left….

Happy Father’s Day to me and all you other “Baby Daddies” out there. My day was pretty decent. We picked the kids up from their mom’s around 10:45 this morning and the four of us went out to lunch at a new restaurant in town. I ordered a medium well steak (famously called the steer butt) that ended up being completely raw in the center, I am talking blood raw and cold to the touch, so I sent it back and they took it off the bill. It was a good thing, seeing as the steak cost $32. I don’t know why I thought I needed a piece of meat that expensive. This evening I made spaghetti for the family, and me and the kids watched Shrek 2 for like the 100th time. Besides this fancy new laptop I am using now, I received a nice card from the kids and one from my wife. Over all it was a nice day with my two wonderful children!

I’ll fill you all in on the weekend with the in-laws soon. Just wanted to post real quick and say hello. I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!

More later…

“Well this should be an exciting weekend.” He said with a bit of sarcasm and a smidgen of dread.

Susan’s sister and her husband are coming for a visit. They will be here around five this afternoon. What is there to dread about their upcoming visit you might ask? Well, how about I tell you….

Before I met Susan, her sister Julie was married with one child and living in South Carolina. She and her husband were both working for the same company. From what I understand she was having an affair with a married man, Rob, who also worked there. Well, at some point, right before I met Susan, Julie got a divorce, so did Rob, and they moved in with each other. Susan’s mother was not happy about this at all. The first time I ever met Susan’s mom coincided with the first time Julie brought Rob, and his kids, to meet mom too. To say that Rob didn’t make a good impression would be an understatement. Their mom disliked him from the minute he walked through her door, and despised his kids (who she referred to as hellions). It sort of worked to my advantage in a way. Her hatred of Rob helped her to not focus on the fact that her other child (Susan) could soon be marrying a divorced man (me) who also had two kids. Of course I am nothing like Rob, so surely she would have come to love me anyway, right?

The whole time they were there at the house Rob sat around and did nothing but drink beer, letting his kids run around like wild animals. When Susan and I took Julie and Rob out to a restaurant for dinner they pawed each other and made out in the back seat like teenagers. Having barely known these people a couple hours it was a little disconcerting to have practical strangers dry humping in the back seat of my car. Susan was embarrassed and so was I.

As time went by Julie and her son moved to Georgia with Rob (he was transferred from S.C.) and his kids and eventually married him. Their mom continued to be extremely mad about this and did everything she could to try to convince Julie to come back to Tennessee. About three or so months into it she just about did. Their mom, at Julie’s request, arranged to have some men she knows drive a U-Haul truck to Georgia to load up all of Julie’s belongings and bring it all back to Tennessee. All this occurred while Rob was at work and when he returned home that evening he found an empty house and an absent wife.

Well the separation didn’t last long. Within a couple weeks Julie had given in to Rob’s pleas and she came on back to their home in Georgia. She slipped out of mom’s house to return to him one day while mom was at work. Mom was furious when she found out! She claimed she would cut her daughter off and never have anything to do with her again. Her mother had paid for the move as well as the storage facility where all Julie’s furniture was stored and insisted she be reimbursed for her trouble. This took a while, but eventually Julie got all her stuff back.

All seemed well in the months that followed. Julie and Rob appeared to put the past behind them and they went on with their lives as well as they could. Susan, the kids and I even went and visited them at Thanksgiving last year. We had a nice time and I actually found myself getting to like Rob, once I got to know him. I had heard nothing but bad stuff from Susan’s mom so I wasn’t sure how I would take to him. He was a much different person than he had been on the first time we had met.

So now that you know some of the back story, allow me to bring you to the present. About two weeks ago Susan’s mother began telling Susan how Julie was going to be leaving Rob again soon. Of course the woman says this all the time. It has been her goal for two years now to break them up. Susan and I took this news with a grain of salt until last week. Julie and Rob are vacationing at his parent’s home in S.C. and she had called last Saturday to briefly talk with Susan. In the few minutes she had alone, without Rob in the room, she confirmed that she was indeed leaving Rob and already had her plan in place. As Susan listened to her talk her tone suddenly changed when, obviously, Rob discovered she was on the phone. To quickly change the subject she told Susan that they were thinking about coming to visit on their way home. We doubted that this was the going to happen and assumed she was just saying that to keep Rob from sniffing out what the real subject of the phone call was.

Well, last night we got a call from Julie and she said they would be here today. My weekend is shot. My plans of fishing with Snagley tomorrow will again be put off. Instead of spending the day in a boat trying not to smell Snag’s noxious intestinal fumes, I will be spending time with Julie and Rob and trying not to act like I know what’s going on. This should be fun. Supposedly Rob has no idea that divorce is in his near future. Can you say “awkward situation”? Susan is a lousy actor and can’t lie worth a damn. I just hope she doesn’t get a little too much drink in her and blurt it all out. Geeze, wouldn’t that be great?!

I am so not looking forward to this weekend….